It's almost seven months since my Mom passed away, and I have been having a wide variety of dreams about her since then. At the beginning, I would see her in the dress she was in, at the time she exhaled her last breath. She was smiling, her dentures were gone and she as making faces at me, smiling, making me laugh at her funny tactics. I would wake up and feel as if she were near me all the time. This continued for sometime, and then the pattern changed.
Second phase of dreams: Mom has come back from the dead. She said that she is quite all right now, no illnesses, and she feels perfectly healthy. In my dreams, I was wondering how I was going to explain to the others that she's back. I was wondering wheher they'd believe me. These dreams continued for a couple of days, then stopped.
Then... a couple of weeks back, the pattern changed, again. She's dying and the way she die is different in each dream. Onetime, she was inhaling this gas that was supposed keep her alive, and she had found out out that if she inhales more of it, she coud die. And she was telling me that she wants to get done with this dying process, soon. Another time, I see a set of small holes that allows her to breathe, and one by one, these holes close up, indicating that her beathing has slowed down. And then I notice that there's only one hole left open- and if that closes up, that means she's dead. I wake up everytime with a heavy heart and with tears in my eyes. But I can't cry.
The funny thing is, at the time of death, she was not even on any ventilator, breathing device or any kind of saline drip. She had those six weeks before she died, just for two days, after she underwent seizures, but after that, everything was normal for her. During the last six weeks of her life, she was in bed, most of the time, walked a litle bit with my help at the beginning, but never had to be on any mechanical/medical device.
Second phase of dreams: Mom has come back from the dead. She said that she is quite all right now, no illnesses, and she feels perfectly healthy. In my dreams, I was wondering how I was going to explain to the others that she's back. I was wondering wheher they'd believe me. These dreams continued for a couple of days, then stopped.
Then... a couple of weeks back, the pattern changed, again. She's dying and the way she die is different in each dream. Onetime, she was inhaling this gas that was supposed keep her alive, and she had found out out that if she inhales more of it, she coud die. And she was telling me that she wants to get done with this dying process, soon. Another time, I see a set of small holes that allows her to breathe, and one by one, these holes close up, indicating that her beathing has slowed down. And then I notice that there's only one hole left open- and if that closes up, that means she's dead. I wake up everytime with a heavy heart and with tears in my eyes. But I can't cry.
The funny thing is, at the time of death, she was not even on any ventilator, breathing device or any kind of saline drip. She had those six weeks before she died, just for two days, after she underwent seizures, but after that, everything was normal for her. During the last six weeks of her life, she was in bed, most of the time, walked a litle bit with my help at the beginning, but never had to be on any mechanical/medical device.
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