Destined to be together by Sam KW.

Type: Gen
Summary: They started at different Police academies, but still, ended up together when Hutch followed a dream to Bay City.
Categories: Hutch Angst, Starsky Angst, Mystery, Starsky H/C. Hutch H/C

                    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Start living Hutchinson… Your life is waiting for you… Davey is waiting for you.
Does he even know me?
He will... Soon.
Oh, come on, Mike. How could you say that he is waiting for me when he doesn't even know me?
He doesn't know it, yet, but he is waiting.
Are you asking me to leave my home and go meet 'Davey,' who doesn't know that he is waiting for me?
Where is your home, Hutchinson? Duluth? Was it ever home for you?
And you say Bay City is?  A place I have not even visited before?
Don't you think it's about time you found out?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captain Dobey eyed the tall blond standing in front of him in silence. A straight transfer from Minnesota; Detective Kenneth Richard Hutchinson, a graduate from Virginia Police Academy. He had worked as a police officer in Minnesota for eighteen months, and had just been promoted to detective first class. Captain Dobey's long time friend, Captain Gerald Hardin at Minnesota Police Department who was Hutchinson's supervisor had highly recommended him.
"The best cop I have seen in my entire life, and I tried as hell to keep him with us, but his mind was made. He wants to leave Minnesota, and the only opening right now that suits him is at BCPD, in your Division."

Dobey liked how Hutchinson had dressed up; neat, not a wrinkle in his clothes. Dobey thought about his best detective; David Michael Starsky, the curly haired brunet who never dressed up in anything but faded blue jeans and ragged shirts who had made detective just one year after being an officer. Dobey wanted to partner Dave Starsky with Hutchinson, knowing very well that Starsky would never agree. Starsky had developed a habit of dumping partners after a month or so.

Well... there wasn't anyone else Hutchinson could work with at the moment, anyway, and he was also not a normal rookie like the ones that were partnered with Starsky. This is someone just like him- So it might actually work. It just might!

Starsky had the afternoon off today. It was the first death anniversary of his girl friend, the beautiful school teacher Starsky was head over heels in love with; the one he wanted to marry; the one who was killed by a sick man who had escaped prison, a criminal Starsky had been responsible in putting away. Since then Starsky had refused to work with anyone, and even when he was forcibly partnered with someone he made sure that he would be working solo within one month.

"Hutchinson is easy to work with," Gerald had said. "He had worked with a couple of officers and never had any problem. They all liked him. We don't want him to leave. He is the smartest I've got."

Dobey hoped he'd also be smart enough to handle Starsky the right way. "I will introduce you to the rest of the precinct." Dobey came out of his office into the squad room.

Hutchinson smiled and shook hands with everyone in the squad room. "Call me Hutch," Hutchinson said to his fellow officers.

"This is Starsky's desk." Dobey raised his hand and pointed to the desk in front of Hutchinson's.

"You'll be working with David Starsky. You might meet him sometime today. He is out on an assignment right now. He is the best cop in my Division, and the toughest. Just, err... well… just be patient with him," said Dobey.

Watching those words rolling out of the burly, dark skinned, Captain Dobey, Hutchinson held his breath, feeling the hair stand up at the back of his neck. David Starsky? David? Is this Mike's Davey?  

Hutchinson smiled hurriedly, and nodded, not trusting himself to ask why he should be patient with Starsky. His mouth had gone dry as a desert.

Sitting at his desk, he eyed the contents in front of him that belonged to Starsky; a piggy bank, a half-bitten pencil, couple of pens with bite marks as well. He smiled to himself, Ah, Davey… so that is one bad habit of yours eh…?  I wonder how you look like.  

As soon as Dobey left, the other cops, Simmons, Jake, Jeff and Edward came to Hutch.

"Man... did we hear right? Are you going to work with Starsky?" Simmons asked.

"Yes, why?" Hutch asked.

The men in front of him shook their heads, making interesting noises; one puffed, one inhaled sharply, and one blew a low whistle.

Hutch raised his eye brows. "What's the problem?"

"You won't last even a week with him, Hutchinson," said Edward.

"Why not?"

"Because it is simply impossible. Do you want to know what happened to his last partner? After two weeks, he ended up with two broken teeth, a cracked lip, a broken nose, and a dislocated jaw."

Hutch's jaw dropped. Was he hearing right? What kind of a monster was this Starsky guy? Didn't sound like the 'sweet, kind, funny Davey.'  What have I got myself into? Damn you, Mike! This is all your fault!

"But, why?" Hutch asked.

"Well, just keep your hands off him, and you won't have any trouble," Jake said smiling.

Keep my hands off him? Now what was that supposed to mean? Why would I want my hands 'ON' him anyway?

"Yeah, and let him work on his own, don't bother him, don't touch him, don't talk to him, and you will do just fine," said Jeff, chuckling.

"But… how the hell could I work with him if I shouldn't talk to him?" Hutch asked.

"That is what we said – Impossible," said Jeff, returning back to his desk. So did the others except Jake. He came and sat beside Hutch.

"Hey, Starsky is the best we've got. There is simply no one like him. He has been through some tough times, and he changed after that. Changed a lot. He just doesn't want to work with anyone. You'll understand with time, but be patient with him. Like we said before, no matter what you do, just don't touch him, and you may survive a little bit longer."

Hutch's curiosity about this Starsky character was now sky rocketing. I'm definitely not into touching guys, but what if I accidentally run into him or come into contact with him while working? Will I end up with a crooked nose and missing front teeth just because I 'accidentally' gave him a pat on his hand?

"Well... I have the whole afternoon to get to know the guy," he said.

Jake bit his lower lip. "Don't count on it. He won't be himself this afternoon. He hasn't been himself for a long time," he said, sadly.

"Where does he live?" Hutch asked.

"Well… you can talk to Huggy Bear. He is the owner of The Pits. Huggy is everything for Starsky. Best friend- snitch- caretaker- brother- whatever," Jake said, returning back to his work files.

Hutchinson busied himself with the paper work, getting familiarized with normal protocols at the station. He glanced at Starsky's desk and chair from time to time, as if those could tell him something about the mysterious guy he heard about all morning.

And then he heard him for real; even though he had not seen the guy before Hutch knew instantly that this was the infamous David Michael Starsky!  He entered the room like a whirl wind- cyclone- typhoon all put together- It was as if the whole room lightened up with his entrance. The silent squad room suddenly came alive even without Starsky uttering a word.

"Hey, Jake, this is for you." Starsky threw a small parcel to Jake.

Jake caught the package and eyed the contents of the package, flashing a satisfactory smile. "Oh, man... my favorite."

A man who cares enough to remember and bring something special to one of his buddies should be an extra-special guy, Hutch mused.

Starsky smiled slightly as he nodded and winked at Jake, and then his eyes turned towards Hutch; the smile disappeared in an instance, and his expression turned cold, almost hostile.   

Hutch thought his heart would stop right there with the look in those eyes. It was as if the time stopped right then, when Starsky's deep blue eyes met with Hutch's.

There was not a sound in the room. A slight tremor traveled along Hutch's spine. Starsky's presence was electrifying and unsettling. Those dark blue eyes had held him captivated under a hypnotizing stance.

Hutch could almost hear the clock ticking or was it his heartbeat? I think now I know what 'love' at first sight means, Hutch chuckled. Well… No- Not 'that' kind of love, but still, he felt an unmistakable attraction despite the icy cold stare Starsky gave him. It was both thrilling and unnerving, and the indigo eyes were still cold and hostile. So this is Starsky! My partner! He looks is so much like Mike. And just like Mike said, was this meant to happen? Hutch shook his head. Had he believed Mike's stories too much? Wasn't that why he was here, anyway?

"Kenneth Hutchinson." Starsky's deep voice brought Hutch back to the present with a jolt.

"David Starsky," Hutch matched his tone, extending his hand.

Starsky nodded slightly and headed straight to captain Dobey's office.

Okay- so 'no touching' means not even a hand shake? What the hell?

***

"He is my what?" Starsky shouted at his supervisor- "Cap'n, this is insane. Not him. Not that poster boy."

"Starsky -- this is an order. Now get out and deal with it," Captain's firm voice told Starsky everything he needed to know.

He stormed out of the office, closed the door with a bang that rattled everything in the squad room. He took a deep breath, his eyes settling on the blond sitting in front of his desk, hunched over some paperwork.

My new partner! Starsky scoffed. What was Dobey thinking? He's not made for the streets although his record at Minnesota is pretty damn impressive- But… Bay City is another story- It ain't no Hollywood!

Even if he was a good cop why would he need a partner? Starsky narrowed his eyes. Is Hutchinson another 'Phil Cameron'? I have to get rid of him before it's too late. No need to find out what type of a weirdo he is if I make him understand that I don't need a partner, and that he is better off without me. He is not some rookie either. He is someone like me, so I have to be careful in handling him and making him understand that I don't want him.

***
Hutch heard what went on in captain Dobey's office, and his heart sank. He knew this was not going to be an easy partnership.

Okay… baby steps- just a little smile... and some small talk to begin with.

Hutch turned around and saw the dark haired man standing at Captain Dobeys' office door, staring at him. Wasn't easy to bring out any smiles when deep blue rays pierced him right through his heart, to the farthest corner of his soul where all his insecurities and loneliness was packed and sealed, making him feel completely naked and vulnerable. He managed to force a smile for appearances sake. 

Starsky took one look into Hutchinson's blue eyes and felt everything inside him melting with the shy smile. Starsky could never hurt or let anything happen to the person those eyes belonged to. Ohh Man. He sighed. This is someone so different from me, like burgers and green salads. Starsky knew he was in deep trouble when he laid his eyes on Hutchinson for the very first time just before stepping into Dobey's office, and if he had any doubts of that, the smile Hutch flashed just confirmed it.

A wall surrounding Starsky's heart fell apart, making him feel very protective towards this Minnesotan man with Nordic good looks Dobey had just partnered him with. To 'serve and protect' had a whole new meaning to it, now. Get away from me before it is too late baby blue. Just get out. Don't want to see you getting hurt.  

***

Jeff, Simmons and the others were eying them time to time-

"The two of them look good together," Edwards whispered to Jake.

"Yeah- feels like something in the air just cracked when their eyes met."

"You felt it too?" Simmons asked, his eyes widening. "I thought it was just the sentimental me."

All of them looked at the two new partners who were now faithfully sitting at their desks. No words had been exchanged between them since they sat together, facing each other, trying to look busy with their own 'work'. It was a well known fact that Starsky could never stay in one place for more than a minute, and paperwork and report writing was never his favorite. 

"Starsky sitting for that long at his desk should have broken all records," said Jeff.


****

Starsky got busy with the report of his previous assignment, and Hutch filled in the official forms he had to submit to the department as a new arrival. Noticing he had made a mistake, he looked for the liquid correction tube when Starsky handed over the small white bottle without uttering a word. Hutch silently took it from Starsky being very careful to not to touch Starsky's fingers, and went on with his work, noticing every move Starsky made, knowing that Starsky was doing the same.

Hutch was well aware of the handsome but very grouchy and moody man in front of him. Oh Yes! Hutch couldn't even breathe properly. He could almost feel the heat radiating from Starsky. Every time he turned Hutch felt the smell of his aftershave.

After sometime Starsky stood up and walked towards the coffee pot.

"Coffee?" he asked, not looking at Hutch.

"Sure," Hutch answered, glad to not to have Starsky near him where he could see him, even though it was just for a couple of seconds.

Starsky came back with two cups of coffee and placed one in front of Hutch.

"Thanks." Hutch accepted graciously.

Starsky's face grimaced after tasting the coffee. "Dammit," he muttered another set of words that didn't quite reach Hutch's ears.  Starsky put down the cup with such a force the coffee spilled all along his desk. "T'rrific," Starsky cursed.

Hutch in a flash handed his handkerchief to Starsky. 

"Thanks." Starsky took the handkerchief and eyed it very carefully. It was a clean, expensive, white, handmade beautiful piece of cloth; he couldn't possible wipe of the coffee with it. He frowned.

"I have plenty more," Hutch said as if he could read Starsky's mind.

Starsky shrugged and tried to sponge off the coffee that was on his jeans. 

"Come on. Let us get out of here. Lunch on me." Starsky was out of his chair, heading towards the door.

It took a couple of seconds for Hutch to understand what Starsky said, and he hurriedly straightened up his desk before running towards the already closing door, looking at the others who were quite frankly very surprised.

"Well, well, well... that was a first. I never saw him buying lunch for any of his partners." Edward chuckled.

"Yeah- more like trying to have them for lunch instead."

"Hutchinson is different," Jake said- "I think something of him got to Starsky."

Jake hoped for Starsky's sake that Hutch would be good for him. Jake had always liked and respected Starsky. He was partnered with Starsky for a short period when he was a rookie. He was overwhelmed by the intelligence of the man. Jake hoped that one day, when he made detective, Starsky would consider him as his partner, but he also knew that he was no match for him. Starsky needed someone that could meet his expectations- someone as bright, smart, experienced, and intelligent as himself. And Hutchinson will fit the role perfectly, only if Starsky would give him a chance, that is!

***
Starsky took Hutch to The Pits, They sat at the bar. Hutch met a skinny, tall black guy who was wearing a shiny blue shirt, dark black pants, and bright red scarf around his neck.

"Glad to meet the next victim of our man of steel," Huggy Bear said, when Starsky had excused himself to 'go to the john'. As far as Huggy could remember, this was the first time Starsky had brought one of his partners for lunch after Terri died.

Starsky's life had two phases- Before Terri and after Terri- The easy to deal with happy joyous man with the lop sided grin, whose face would lighten up like a thousand watt bulb, who could bring nothing but happiness and joy to ones around was replaced by this hard to deal with grumpy, gloomy man who occasionally flew into uncontrollable temper tantrums.

Then after the last partner Starsky had, he was even worse; he couldn't be touched anymore, not even for a friendly handshake- As if Starsky had completely withdrawn from the rest of the world. He had finally made himself 'untouchable'- The bright indigo eyes looked haunted and even Huggy didn't know how to get to the man anymore.

Huggy eyed Starsky's new partner with interest. Hutch was nothing like Starsky. Starsky has got his match; his complete opposite!

***
Starsky ordered the burger-special for the day.

Hutch didn't feel how hungry he was until he bit into one. "Man, this is good," he said, and his appreciation brought a slight smile into Starsky's face which didn't quite reach his eyes though.

"Why BCPD?" Starsky caught Hutch by surprise. Starsky had all the information about Hutch way before he came to Bay City although Starsky didn't know he would be partnered with the guy at that time. He knew that Duluth, Minnesota was Hutch's home town, and that his father is a doctor. Hutch was married and divorced, recently. He had a college degree, but joined the Police Force. And here he was, sitting pretty in front of him, looking 'neat,' 'precise,' 'thorough,' and 'analytical' – yeah, that was the word for him.

"Didn't matter. Just wanted to get out of Minnesota," Hutch said, wiping off the grease on his fingers with a napkin. Starsky's gaze made him feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, again. I'm sure you can read my mind, and know exactly why I left Minnesota- so why bother asking.

"Why?"

Hutch's whole life was spent in Minnesota other than the time he was in college. After his failed marriage, and when his parents who were never supportive of his decision of joining the police force had made his life unbearable every instance they got an opportunity to do so, he wanted to get away from Minnesota, and the only opening was at Bay City-

And then there was Mike who kept on telling him how good Bay City would be!

"Didn't have any reason to stay in Minnesota," Hutch replied.

"Huh," Starsky grunted.  "And you think you'll have a reason to stay here?"

"What do you think?" Hutch asked.

"What do I think, indeed," Starsky said in a low rumbling voice. "I will drop you off at the Station- I'm off this afternoon."

"Why?"

"None of your business, partner!" Starsky said gruffly.

"Well... Starsky, my partner's whereabouts is my business!" Hutch challenged.

"You'll know what I want you to know about my whereabouts. Anything outside work is not your business- got that?" Starsky's voice had a warning tone.

Hutch nodded with a sly smile. "Whatever you say, partner" he said, noticing some crumbs on Starsky's jacket. He automatically leaned forward and brushed them away. A few seconds into the act he realized the grave a mistake he had made when he felt Starsky became tense. God! What part in don't touch him did I forget?

"Hey, you okay?" Hutch stood up and asked very casually as if he didn't notice anything, but his bones were reduced to jelly, and his palms were all sweaty, just within five seconds. God, the effect he has on others!

Without a word Starsky got up and left the restaurant with Hutch running behind him trying to catch up.

Starsky dropped Hutch off at the station and drove off. He had not said a word throughout the drive.

Hutch watched the candy apple red Torino disappearing from his view.
That was close- too close! I wouldn't last even a week at this rate.

***
Starsky was constantly in Hutch's thoughts. He had to know more about the guy, he just had to. After signing off for the day, Hutch went back to The Pits to get some information about where Starsky was living. 

"You are too nosy, you know that? No one who worked with Starsky in the past was interested in knowing about him like you do," said Huggy, scribbling Starsky's home address on a napkin from the bar. "However, Blondie, my advice-- Stay away from him, today. It's not a day for visitors," Huggy warned.

"What's so special about today?" Hutch asked.

"Not my place to tell, and don't go asking him about it either."

Hutchinson drove his old beat up Ford LTD across the city towards Starsky's apartment when he had a glimpse of the red Torino disappearing at a corner. He drove to catch up with Starsky and followed him to a playground.

The only children who were playing basketball were children with 'special needs.' One of them, a little girl who seemed to have a deformed leg, saw Starsky getting off the car and came screaming towards him. "Uncle, Dave. Uncle, Dave." She threw herself at Starsky.

Hutch was surprised to see the soft expression on Starsky's face as he scooped up the girl and threw her in the air- So much love in those eyes, but why so sad?  

The little one was squealing with joy. She threw her arms around Starsky's neck, whispered something in his ear, and buried her head on his shoulder. Starsky walked towards the other children holding the little girl tightly against him. More children from the bunch were running towards Starsky by now. From the look in their eyes one could see how much they adored and loved Starsky and vice versa. Starsky knelt and talked to each and every one of the kids. They were around him laughing and shouting as he was the spirit of Christmas. He ruffled their hair, gave a peck on the nose or a kiss on the cheek- tilted his to a side and smiled.
He loves the kids to pieces- Why do they mean so much to him?

What a transformation from the man Hutch had met at the squad room. Starsky was showing an entirely different personality and Hutch wondered which one is the true Starsky; the tough and rough guy he saw at the squad room or the softie he could see here. Every situation brings out a personality that suits that particular place or the people. Especially, when you are a cop, you cannot be the same person you are with criminals as when you are with you family.
Starsky is a complex person-- a 1000 piece puzzle.  

Starsky spend the whole afternoon playing basketball with the kids and later sat down to talk with the two ladies that were in charge of the children. But before long, one of the kids pulled Starsky back to the basketball court. The Starsky who was here was more like an eight year old kid who enjoyed every minute on that court. He was relaxed, carefree and happy, despite the sad look in those eyes. The way he moved was just smooth and graceful; Reminded Hutch of a cat on the prowl.

He looked more like a feral cat. Hutch chuckled.

After a while it looked like Starsky was about to leave. Hutch looked at his watch and was surprised to see that he had been sitting in his car for a good two hours watching his partner play with a bunch of kids. So, is this the reason Starsky took the whole afternoon off? To play with a bunch of kids?

Police personnel guard their vacation leave very preciously as they do not get that many- and Starsky took a whole afternoon off, today, to play basketball?  

Starsky said Good Bye to the kids walked towards the car when the little girl who first came to meet him started to follow him. Starsky stopped and turned around. The little girl caught Starsky's hand, and it seemed like she was walking him to the car. When they reached the car Hutch caught a glimpse of his face. The sadness reflecting in Stasky's eyes were unbearable. Are those tears in his eyes? What happened to this man that brought such sadness to him?
Starsky knelt in front of the little girl, looking at her with his head bent to a side.

"Please don't be sad, Uncle Dave," said the little girl, touching Starsky's cheeks. "She is in a good place- she is happy now. So you should be happy too, Uncle Dave."

So much wisdom for a little girl. How old is she? Six? Seven ? And who is this 'She' the little girl referred to? Another kid? Starsky's kid?

Starsky hugged the little girl.

Hutch closed his eyes, feeling as if he was doing something he was not supposed to do, watching something that he shouldn't be watching- listening to something he shouldn't be listening, but he couldn't leave until Starsky left. He couldn't afford to be discovered here. Starsky will end the partnership even before it started if he discovers that I followed him.
Hutch scooted down the seat a little bit more listening to Starsky's trembling voice.

"I'm trying to believe that too, Amy, I'm trying so hard."

Hutch didn't dare move a muscle until he heard the Torino engine come to life. Keeping a safe distance between the Torino and his LTD, Hutch again followed Starsky.

Starsky stopped at a florist to get a bunch of roses, and then drove for another fifteen or twenty minutes until he came to the cemetery that was at the end of city limits. Hutch parked the car close by. He knew Starsky wouldn't pay attention to his old car because he had not known that it belonged to Hutch.

Starsky got off the Torino with a handful of white and yellow roses. He made his way towards the cemetery, walking until he came to the site he was visiting that day. His shoulders slumped; Starsky knelt and left the roses in front of a grave.

When Starsky sank to his knees, and wiped off his cheeks a couple times, Hutch could do nothing but watch him suffer by himself. He would just get mad at me, and I would spoil whatever the chance I have to build up a relationship with him.

Starsky finally got up and turned back. Hutch was hiding behind a tree, and was sure Starsky didn't see him; yet, he caught Starsky's grim expression just before Starsky's eyes turned towards where he was hiding. Hutch didn't move a muscle. He was plastered to the big tree until he heard the rattling sound of the Torino's engine.

Once he heard the car takeoff Hutch moved from his hiding place and walked back to the grave site where Starsky had placed the roses. There was no head stone. Who was buried here? Who is important and special enough to bring tears to the eyes of a man like Starsky?

***
Starsky had felt the presence of someone nearby. He had already noticed the gray LTD parked beside the road way behind him; the same beat-up thing that was at the playground. He couldn't see the driver. Someone following me?

Then later at the cemetery he saw the tip of a pair of brown shoes beside a tree not that far away. Ah, Hutchinson.  So it was you at the school, too. You followed me all the way, didn't ya? Thought you won't be noticed, huh? But if you think you have outsmarted me, partner, think again!

***
Hutch drove to his apartment, abandoning the thoughts of visiting. He felt that it was better to leave the man alone today- Starsky may not be a in a good mood if his thoughts were of someone who died, but then on the other hand, wouldn't it be better to keep him company? Just in case the guy was feeling lonely? Oh, hell, we don't know each other, and he will not appreciate a stranger at his door step, anyway. Tomorrow's Saturday. Maybe I will go see him tomorrow- will have an excuse like I wanted him to show me around- I'm his partner, so he shouldn't say 'no'.

Hutch spent a good part of the next day unpacking his bags. He had rented an apartment at Venice Place, with one large bedroom and enough space for his plants and for the ones he was planning to get.

Late in the afternoon he drove to Starsky's apartment. The red Torino was parked in front. How the hell could he go undercover with a car like this? Hutchinson shook his head. How the hell are 'we' suppose to go undercover in this?

He got off his car and climbed the stairs to Starsky's apartment with a case of beer. He still wasn't sure what made him come this far- He knocked on the door. The lock turned after a few seconds, and the door was opened.

"Whaddya want?" Starsky frowned at Hutch.

 Hutch could smell the alcohol right from where he was standing. Starsky has been drinking!

"Err, just dropped by." Hutch stared at the dark blue eyes. Starsky's his hair was a curly mess. But something was different from the man he had seen earlier. Starsky's eyes were blood red and puffy, like he had been crying. Crying?

"Well? Maybe you can just pick yourself back to where ever you came from," Starsky grunted.

"Just wanted to say, hi."

"Ok then, hi. Now just leave me alone, will Ya?"

"How about a beer?" Hutch dangled the case of beer in front of Starsky. A flash of anger and hate passed across those indigo eyes.

After sometime Starsky shrugged his shoulders and turned away from Hutch. As the door didn't close on him, Hutch smiled and stepped inside the apartment. Points scored, 10.

"So whadd'ya celebrating? First weekend in Bay City?"

Hutch noticed that Starsky was drunk like hell. He shouldn't have brought anymore beer, but… well. "No, first year of my divorce." The sentence was out of Hutch's mouth even before he knew it. He cursed himself. This was not something he wanted to say.

Hutch's answer didn't seem to rattle Starsky. "Is that why you wanted a transfer?" Starsky asked with the same tone he had talked before. "And you always go visit strangers when you are celebratin'?"

"Well, you are no stranger, Starsky. From the time I got to the Metro, yesterday, all what I have heard are of you. On the other hand, there's also no one else I know in town either, other than Captain Dobey and the other guys in the squad room. So I just didn't have anywhere else to go," Hutch said, truthfully.

"What about playgrounds and cemeteries?" Starsky's next question made Hutch's head shoot up.
Hutch had been caught in the act.
 
"Starsky, I can explain--"

"Don't have to. I don't want to know," Starsky said waving his hand, gesturing it was no big deal.

"I shouldn't have followed you, but…"

"'S okay, forget it. You are a free man."

What if I don't want to forget it? What if I want to know what all that was about? Who's buried in that cemetery? Why do you care about those kids?  

They looked at each other for a while when Hutch offered him a beer. Starsky's demeanor changed once again. His lips tightened and he shook his head, picked up a bottle he had set on the floor nearby, saying, "I have my own."

What the hell? Don't even want a beer from me? Hutch shrugged and took a sip. "For the beginning of a partnership," he said, raising his beer and watching the little color in Starsky's face, draining out.  

"What did you just say?" Starsky asked harshly.

"For our partnership," Hutch said without blinking. What am I going to do with this guy? No matter what I do or say, I feel that he is going to bite my head off the next second. Like Jeff and other said, I guess I just have to mind my own business and stop talking to him all together or I will just keep on pissing him off so that at one point he will shoot me or give in or give up. Either way is fine with me.

"Not for long," Starsky grunted.

"Oh, yeah? Why not?"

"Because I say so," Starsky said calmly.

"What if I don't agree?" Hutch asked.

"You will, if you know what's good for you."

I don't know about that, but I was told that you and I'd be good together, Davey.

Starsky turned and headed towards the couch and stumbled, almost falling.

Geez!  He is drunk more than I thought. What happened to you Starsky? Why did you drink so much? What or who made you drink this much? Hutch wanted to help him but then… no touching!

"I think you should leave, Hutchinson" Starsky said, collapsing onto the couch with the beer in one hand and massaging his temples with the other.

"Starsky, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I just... I just thought it was a good idea," Hutch apologized.

To Hutch's surprise, Starsky's expressions softened. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Not your fault."

Hutch never had any problem with his partners, but he had felt that something was missing with each of those partnerships. He had not felt close to anybody; he never was close to anybody, not even with his wife, ex-wife, Vanessa. There was always something missing, like a piece of the puzzle was missing. No partnership- no relationship felt perfect. Maybe that was the main reason why he left Minnesota.

"Do you need anything for the headache?" Hutch asked, watching Starsky continuously massaging his forehead.

"Asprins – in the cabinet- bathroom." Starsky replied.

Hutch looked around and found the bathroom and the medicine cabinet- and the aspirins. No matter how tough Starsky looked, something told Hutch that there was a warm, loving soul behind that entire pretense.

"Do you think this would do?" Hutch dropped two aspirins onto Starsky's hand.

"Need two more- this is a big one."

Four aspirins are too much, buddy, but he didn't argue with Starsky. He took back the bottle of aspirins to the cabinet.  

Lying on the dining table was a photograph; a smiling Starsky with a beautiful girl; short haired blonde with twinkling eyes. And Starsky's smile was radiant.  Hutch felt his heart stopped for a moment.

God, he looks so happy- Who is the girl? His girl friend? Wife? Something happened to her? Is that what changed him? Did she make him drink like this?

Then he came across another photo of a man and a little boy. The man was the splitting image of Starsky, and Hutch already knew that face- Mike! The small boy, Is this Little Davey? The resemblance was striking.

Mike! You are for real!

Hutch looked at the taut body lying on the couch. Starsky had his eyes closed and he was leaning his head against the back of the couch- Hutch could feel the tension of those muscles.

"Starsky," Hutch said softly- "You have had enough to drink today." He carefully removed the half full beer bottle from Starsky's hand.

Starsky's eyes flew open. He watched Hutch for a few seconds, sighed and closed his eyes again.
"You suddenly turned into my mother or what?" Starsky asked.

"Yeah... something like 'that' -" Hutch answered.

"Leave, Blondie- I'm in no mood to entertain a guest." Starsky's sounded exhausted.

"I'm not here to be entertained," Hutch replied. Hutch couldn't understand why suddenly this man mattered to him. From the time he saw Starsky at the squad room he couldn't take his mind off him. Starsky was like a mystery all wrapped up, and Hutch wanted to solve the mystery. He didn't want to wait.

"Oh, shit, not again." Starsky clapped his hand to his mouth and stumbled towards the bathroom. Before Hutch could reach him he was leaning over the porcelain bowl, throwing up violently and explosively.

Hutch looked around for towels and found some- He wet them and looked over the body on the floor, bent over the basin, now obviously without anything in his stomach he convulsed with dry heaves and Hutch knew how painful that can be.
'Not again' Starsky had said. So he threw up before? How many times?
I don't care what others said- I have to help the guy, and that means touching him. If he has a problem with it, God help him!

Hutch carefully knelt behind Starsky and put his hand around Starsky's chest, holding him firmly before he collapsed. Starsky's body went rigid at Hutch's touch, but Hutch started to talk softly.
"Come on, Starsky. Calm down. I've got you. Keep it together, now, keep it together. Breathe slowly, come on... breathe."

Starsky didn't move. He seemed to relax with Hutch's smooth talk.

Hutch was still in one piece with his jaw intact. No broken teeth and no chapped lips.
"Just relax and concentrate on breathing. There.., that's much better, relax, Starsky, It's going be okay, trust me- It will be okay."

"Go away." Starsky muttered.

"I will, when you are back to your strong, grouchy, grumpy self-  But... as for now, just try to concentrate on breathing, okay?" Slowly but gently, Hutch mopped away the sweat on Starsky's face.  

******
Starsky groaned and leaned against Hutch' shoulder, eyes closed. Surprised by his own reaction, but welcoming the coolness of the towel on his skin. He is not like others- He is not like Cameron. He is not like Cameron, Starsky kept on telling himself, controlling his emotions and the urge to push Hutch away of him.

*****

After the spasms subsided, Hutch stood up and pulled Starsky onto his feet, supporting his full weight. Starsky was almost out of it, in the verge of collapsing. Hutch coaxed him to move towards the only room he saw, which he knew should be the bedroom. He lowered Starsky onto the bed and removed the Adidas running shoes and the socks. The jeans you can keep on, Buddy. I'm not taking the risk of removing those, and even if I tried I don't think I can remove them- It is stuck to you.

"Terri," Starsky mumbled. "Terri, 'm sorry."

Hutch frowned. Terri? The girl in the picture? To his dismay Hutch saw tears on Starsky's cheeks. What am I supposed to do now? Who is this Terri? Is she responsible for Starsky's condition?

All he had to do was look at the face to feel pain ebbed in those sharp features. Hutch sat on the bed. He touched Starsky's dark curls and started massaging his scalp gently when Starsky didn't withdraw from his touch. Hutch smiled to himself and kept on playing with the unruly black curls.

"Terri," Starsky whispered again.

Hutch wiped off the tears on Starsky's cheeks. Starsky groaned and turned onto the other side.

Hutch gently rubbed Starsky's back making circles from his thumb, trying to sooth away his partner's pain- So much for not touching! I don't think I have touched a guy this much in my whole life.

When Starsky's breathing became softer Hutch knew he was asleep. He watched over the sleeping man for a while trying to understand what made him tick. It'd take a lifetime to figure this guy out.

Hutch tiptoed away from the bedroom making sure he didn't make any sound, and switched off the lights. He let himself out of the apartment and drove back to The Pits. He had to talk to Huggy.

******

"Who the hell is Terri?" Hutch demanded, sliding onto a tool beside the bar at The Pits.

Huggy stood speechless.

"Who is she?" Hutch asked again.

"Why are you asking about Terri?" Huggy leaned forward resting his elbows on the counter.

"Because the guy was drunk as hell, and all he was saying was, 'Terri'"

"Shit!" Huggy cursed. He straightened up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Terri was Starsky's girl. The girl he was going to marry and have kids with. The girl who was killed by a psycho – a psycho that was put behind bars by Starsky when he was a rookie. A psycho who escaped the system and was on the streets in no time. He wanted to get Starsky, and he did it by getting to his girl. Shot and killed her, exactly one year ago. There had never been one like that before and after her, for him. She was one special lady, Hutch."

Hutch crumpled a napkin he picked up from the counter, his whole body becoming lifeless; feeling the pain Starsky had suffered during this whole time. His eyes were already brimming with tears for the man he had known for less than a day.

"We thought we lost him as well. He drank himself to sleep every night." Huggy pulled his barstool closer and dragged himself onto it slowly, as if the weight of the whole world rested upon his shoulders.

"He was drunk tonight, too," Hutch said, relieved for getting some pieces of the real-life puzzle.

"You went to see him?" Huggy raised his eye brows.

"I had to. I don't know why, but I had to," said Hutch, his eyes locked on Huggy's. "Yesterday he went to this school play ground and played basketball."

"Jumping jimminies-- You followed him? No. Don't answer that.  I already know. You just had to, huh?"

"What is it with the kids?" Hutch asked, ignoring Huggy's sarcasm.

Huggy took a deep breath. "Terry taught kids with special needs. Starsky visits them once or twice every month. It must have not been easy for him yesterday to go there."

"He also went to the cemetery. Is that to visit Terri's grave?"

Huggy shook his head and looked away. "Man, Hutchinson, you are asking for it." He muttered and turned back to face Hutch. "Listen, I'm sure you are a one of the good guys, and I think you feel something for Starsky, already, but just so that I have warned you, he may not want to be your partner no matter how good you are to him."

"Why? Why not?"

Huggy shook his head. "I have no clear answer to that. After Terri died he wanted to work solo. Never got along with anyone. Then something happened with his last partner that made things worse. Starsky doesn't want to talk about it. He has been working solo for about two months before Dobey partnered you with him."

Hutch nodded. "That is what everyone has been telling me- well... I'm up to the challenge."
Hutch took his leave and went to his apartment, showered, changed and climbed onto his bed with thoughts of his partner.

I will get to you, Starsky- just wait and see. I will get to you, and no way you are going to get rid of me. I knew this was not going to be easy- I was told by Mike that it will be tough even before I came to BCPD. Then your friends said it is impossible, but I won't give up.
Hutch promised that much to himself… while sleep came over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You didn't think I existed.
I don't know what to think.
You didn't believe I existed, but still you came to Bay City.
He has suffered a lot – why didn't you tell me?
Some things are not meant to be told, Hutchinson,
What should I do, Mike?
Listen to your heart- I cannot tell you what to do- It is all up to you, now. My work is over.
You won't talk to me again?    
I might… But just remember-- Lots of Patience. Learn to be patient... He is still just a kid, you know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks had passed since Hutch joined BCPD.

"Morning fellas." Starsky hopped into the squad room a minute after Hutch had come in.

"Morning, Starsky!" Hutch said with a smile.  

Jeff and Jake exchanged a look between them. This was more like the Starsky they had seen before Terri's incident.

"Well, Starsky, you sound very chirpy this morning," Simmons said, wondering what on earth brought about this change in their fellow officer who was always grumpy in the morning.

"Uh huh," Starsky replied with a smile.

Hutch handed him a cup of coffee.

Starsky raised his eye brows, and after a slight pause accepted the cup. His partner was just too good to be true! His partner who had followed him to the school playgrounds, then to the cemetery; who showed up the next day with a case of beer; who had held him while he was puking and then cleaned him up, and put him to bed. That episode had registered in Starsky's mind and touched him in a way and made him feel things he had not allowed him to feel for a long time, and Hutch had not stopped at that first day. He continued to be around him everyday… ignoring Starsky's continuous 'leave me alone' and 'get the hell out of here' statements..     

"Starsky - Hutchinson- In my Office" Dobedy stepped out of his office and hollered.

Starsky bounced into his office and Hutch followed-

Normal protocol- case handed over- some robberies- "Piece o' cake" Starsky smiled and left the office in less than 5 minutes.

Nothing much had happened on streets- just the usual stuff- and to everyone's surprise Starsky was warming up towards his new partner- Hutch made sure of it- He went everywhere Starsky went. Then he stumbled upon how much Starsky loved his food, and of course, after all, there was none other than that to a guy's heart. So after work, every single day, Hutch showed up at Starsky's doorstep with something- a case of beer, or a pizza, sandwiches, and when he didn't bring anything he offered to cook something for Starsky. After sometime it became a habit to wait until Starsky fell asleep. It was as if in his mind Hutch was trying to make sure that Starsky will not feel alone. However, no matter how much he tried, Starsky got drunk a little too much, everyday. He still drank himself to sleep and Hutch didn't know how to get him out of that habit, but Hutch never laid a hand on Starsky again. That very first day Starsky was so drunk that he may not even have noticed or remembered that Hutch was in his apartment. Starsky never mentioned or talked about that day and Hutch never brought up the subject.

***
It was another Friday. Starsky had just finished showering coming home after work. He knew it wasn't too long before Hutch got to his apartment. It had become a habit of him and Starsky didn't know what to make of it. Hutch was a funny creature. Never took 'No' for an answer and was with him like a shadow. He couldn't understand why Hutch was sticking by his side this much when he tried his best to let him know that he was 'unwanted'… though deep within his heart he liked and enjoyed Hutch's visits. He was unlike anyone Starsky had known before. With Hutch, he felt he belonged to him.

Starsky was startled by the sound of the phone ringing. It was Hutch.

"Hey Starsky... I err... I think I won't be able to drop by today." Hutch was apologetic and Starsky felt a little bit disappointed.

"Huh? Got tired finally, Blondie? What's up?"

"Nothing- just I don't feel it."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I guess I haven't got that much of sleep, so just thought of going to bed early."

"You on a date or somethin'?" Starsky smiled.

"Nah… no dates for me for a while. Just tired."

"OK- sleep tight."

"Will call you in the morning."

Starsky frowned after placing the phone. Hutch did look flushed today, and he had seen him taking some aspirins in the evening. Is he coming down with a flu?

Hutch had faithfully stayed with Starsky all the time, everyday. He remembered the very first day Hutch walked into his apartment, and how he had taken care of Starsky. Up to then Starsky had allowed only Huggy to do that for him. Starsky wondered why he didn't flinch away from Hutch's touch.

There was something pure and sincere in everything Hutch did, and that was exactly why Hutch couldn't be his partner for long. I don't want you to get hurt buddy. But he wasn't sure how to get rid of Hutch. Hutch had become a part of him within two weeks- This was not supposed to happen-

***

The following day Hutch had not called as he had promised the other day.

Maybe he had a date and didn't want to tell me about it- Starsky thought.

Starsky called him, and got no answer. Feeling worried when he still had not heard from Hutch an hour later, Starsky drove to Hutch's apartment. The LTD was parked in front. He climbed up to Hutch's apartment and knocked on the door' still nothing. He used the key Hutch had given him the other day to open the door. Hutch had said that it's a good idea that Starsky had a key to his apartment, 'just in case.'

Starsky had eyed the key on Hutch's palm without taking it-

"Ahh, Starsky- I'm not asking you to move in with me, Buddy." Hutch teased. "It is just so that if I cannot get to the apartment for some reason you will have access."

"Access to what?"

"Wht if I was hospitalized for something and you had to bring some change of clothes- "

"Are you sick or something? Are you planning to be in hospital?"

"No NO- I'm not sick. I'm telling you IF I get sick- or if I was on vacation and you had to get something from my apartment…"

"What would I need from your apartment?"

"Maybe if I had some files on a case we were working on?"

"Why would you go on a vacation if we are working on a case? Besides- you just got here – no vacations for you, Hutchinson-"

"I'm just telling you how the key could come in handy. Just take it now, will you?"

Starsky was glad Hutch had talked him into having a key to his apartment- He stepped inside and called for Hutch. Hearing some noise from the bedroom Starsky peeped inside. He found Hutch in bed, among the tangled sheets; a hand hanging towards the floor.

"Hutch- what's going on?" Starsky reached him and tried to wake him. He gasped at Hutch's burning skin. He is running a fever and I should have known. I should have known he was coming down with something when he didn't come by my apartment yesterday. Starsky ran in search of some towels.  

He arranged the pillows and pulled Hutch onto them, removing the sheets that were around him- Hutch stirred a little. His silky golden strands were plastered to his head with sweat. "You just had to get sick, didn't ya? And you just had to hide it from me. What if I didn't drop by, huh?"  

Hutch was mumbling something in his feverish state. Starsky laid a towel on his forehead and placed some ice on it, hoping to get the temperature drop. He wiped Hutch's face and the whole body with a wet towel, and patted him dry. Then he removed the old sheets and replaced them with some new washed sheets he found in Hutch's closet. Wasn't an easy thing to do but he managed to hold, push, turn, and roll Hutch over and change the sheets.

That is my exercise for today. God, you are heavy, Hutch. Starsky kept on changing towels and putting ice on the forehead until Hutch's mumbling stopped and he fell into a sleep. It had to be the flu that was spreading through the city these days; three days and then gone- that's what he heard.

Starsky spent the rest of the day and the night at Hutch's apartment, at his bedside, tending to his partner's needs all night long. Around 2 am Starsky fell asleep, but woke up less than thirty minutes later as he heard Hutch saying something.

"No, please." Hutch mumbled.

Starsky got up and sat at Hutch's bed- touched his partner's cheeks gently. Hutched winced at the touch. He was trapped in some nightmare. "'Tis Ok, Hutch. It's me. There's nothing to worry." Starsky caressed his partners' face gently, whispering softly.

"No. Don't. Please, stop." Hutch tharshed his arms around.

"Come on, Hutch. Wakeup, buddy. Wake up." Starsky shook him.  

"No. Nooo…" Hutch was struggling so much that Starsky had to climb onto the bed and hold Hutch tightly to stop him from tumbling off the bed. "Wake up, Hutch- WAKE UP," he shouted.
Hutch opened his eyes slowly.

Still holding Hutch close to him, Starsky touched Hutch's forehead. The fever had not gone down.

"Starsky?" Hutch looked confused.

"Yaa, it's me, and you are sick. Why the hell didn't you tell me, huh?"

"Am I dreaming or what?" Hutch closed his eyes.

"Not a dream. You had a nightmare. I had to wake you up," Starsky laid Hutch's head back on the pillow, but Hutch protested with a groan, holding on to Starsky's shirt.

"What now? You want me to sleep with you?" Starsky gently rubbed his back and remained at the same sitting position understanding that Hutch may be still suffering from the effects of the nightmare. Hutch was all tensed and his breathing was heavy.

"Hey, everything is okay, partner. Relax, now, will ya. Come on." He rubbed Hutch's back.

Hutch reluctantly released his grip he had on his partner.

Starsky gently pushed him towards the pillows. "There, that's much better. You got to sleep now, Hutch."

"Don't leave." Hutch's voice was barely audible.

"Ain't going anywhere. I'll be right here."

Hutch sighed and closed his eyes. "Don't leave…"

"I won't, Hutch." Starsky promised.

"Ever," Hutch mumbled and curled up in a fetal position; his knees drawn up and his hands balled up in front of his chest.

Starsky froze. Don't leave 'ever'? What's going on, Hutch?

Starsky moved back to the chair he had pulled at the bedside. He won't be able to sleep anymore, not after what Hutch had just said. Even if he had said it in his feverish state Starsky was sure that this was a product of what's buried deep inside Hutch's mind.  

Hutch had cried in pain, asking someone to stop. Stop- what? He asked me to not to leave- 'ever'. Someone had hurt him big time! And Starsky felt a familiar anger rising inside him- No one's going to hurt you anymore, Hutch. No one.   

******

When Hutch woke up next morning, the first thing he saw was his curly haired partner on a chair at his bed… His fever had subsided and his whole body was aching now- what is Starsky doing here? Sleeping? On a chair? At my bed? "Starsk?" He called softly.

Starsky opened his eyes and blinked, noticing Hutch was awake. "Hey… how are you feelin'?" He asked, reaching and touching Hutch's arm. "At least you are not burning anymore."

"What happened?"

"Flu. That's what's happening."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"How did you know?"

"Partners should know everything, remember?"

Hutch smiled. Starsky cares about him. Starsky cares about HIM! He tried to get up from the bed, but the sudden rush of blood to the head was too much.

Starsky held him until he felt normal again, and helped him towards the bathroom.

"Hey. I can take it from here," Hutch said at the bathroom door.

"You sure? Okay, then, just holler if you need me."

***

Starsky was getting the coffee ready and toasting some bread when Hutch emerged from the bathroom. He had helped himself to a shower as well-

"Think you can manage some toast?"

"Love to," Hutch said.

"What's today Starsk? Saturday?"

"Sunday."    

"What? Sunday? But..."

"Yeah... but... it is Sunday."

Hutch remembered going to bed on Friday night with a headache. So was he 'out' of his senses for one whole day? And was Starsky with him the whole time?

Hutch and Starsky ate in a comfortable silence with Hutch occasionally stealing a glance at his partner. So when did Starsky come here? Did he stay with me all night? Looks like he had not got that much of sleep at all.

"Starsk... you look terrible."

"Huh? How about that? I spend the night with the guy, wiping his sweat, changing his sheets, and lulling him to sleep and all he can do is complain." Starsky said with a frown.

Hutch smiled at him fondly. Ahh, yes, Starsky definitely cared about him. "Lulling me to sleep huh?"

"Ofcourse! You were crying all night- nightmares and stuff."

"Crying? Oh, come on- you are making that up."

"Now why would I make something like that up?"

"Well... no wonder I had nightmares if it was you who was singing 'lullabies' to me."

"tsk tsk tsk,…. no gratefulness what so ever."

Hutch looked at Starsky carefully.  He tried to remember the events of the other night, but nothing came into light. There were dark circles around Starsky's eyes and it was no secret that he must have been awake the whole night.

"I think you should go and get some sleep, Starsk."

"Nah... I'm OK."

"If you don't get some sleep the flu will get you, Starsk, now you don't want to be in bed like this right? Crying and all?"

That did it for Starsky. "Dammit! Ok- ok. But will you call me if you need anything?"

"Okay. "

"I will come back later."

"Okay."

Hutch realized that Starsky must not have had any alcohol that night. He was thrilled. Getting the flu was not that bad after all. Maybe I can break the habit.

True to his word Starsky was back at Hutch's apartment that afternoon, with a small duffle bag. Hutch was lying on the couch- he still had a slight fever, but was feeling more human compared to the other day. He couldn't even remember what had happened the other day, anyway.

"What's that?" he said eying the bag in Starsky's hand.

"Some clothes"

"You moving in with me, Starsk?" Hutch couldn't keep the amusement from his voice.

"You wish!"

"Are you planning to sleep on this couch?" Hutch asked. He figured that  Starsky had made up his mind to spend night at Hutch's place so that he could go to work straight from there rather than making another trip to his apartment; hence the clothes.

"Why? You want me in your bed- like you wanted me yesterday?" Starsky asked, bluntly.

Hutch gasped. "What do you mean I wanted you in bed?"

"Well, Blondie- you were holding me so tight last night and didn't want to let go of me."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Oh, come on, Starsk. I did not"

Starsky chuckled.

Hutch just couldn't believe that naughty 'child-like' expression on his partners face. Starsky was indeed cramped up with a thousand of personalities. The biggest piece of the puzzle was that, how,  the guy who didn't even care for a handshake because he had some sort of a 'phobic' situation, now,  very casually, cracks jokes of 'sensitive' nature. How did he change so much? Was it because of me? He trusts me?

"Well you did, Blondie." Starsky came and sat beside Hutch, still laughing. He stretched his arm over Hutch's shoulder and pulling him closer. He placed his palm on Hutch's forehead. His smile disappeared.

"You still have a fever, Hutch. You are hot!" Starsky cried out.

"Of course I'm hot... too bad it took this long for you to."

"Cut it out, OK, you are burning here, idiot!

"I took some aspirins- that will take care of it-"

"Should be in bed- come on- time to sleep."

"Not sleepy yet," Hutch said, enjoying every bit of Starsky's attention. Starsky who was introduced to him as nothing less than a demon was the warmest, kindest, softest person Hutch had ever met in his life. He loved their closeness, and secretly was thankful for the flu.

"Then I'll get something for you to eat. Maybe after that you can go to sleep."

"Not hungry."

"But you have to eat something- I will make my special soup," Starsky said.

***

Hutch was dozing off by the time Starsky had the soup and some toast ready. Hutch managed to help himself to a generous portion of Starsky's soup- He had never tasted anything like that, but liked it immensely. It had a taste of tomato and peanut butter. He never guessed that Starsky could cook that well.

After supper they spent some time flipping TV channels and resting. Hutch was falling asleep.
"Hey, you have to give your body a chance to fight off the flu bug. Bed time big boy," said Starsky pulling Hutch to his feet.

"Virus," Hutch corrected Starsky.

"Huh?"

"Flu virus."

"Whatever, " Starsky said annoyingly. "Bug- beetle-fly-virus- all are the same. Just get some sleep now, will ya?" Starsky got Hutch into bed under the covers and tucked him in.

"Thanks, Starsk…"

"Hey, that's what partners are for." Starsky brushed his knuckles against Hutch's cheeks.  
Starsky retuned back to the couch and switched on the TV, making sure the noise will not awaken his partner. Before long he was asleep as well.

*****************
A scream from the next room awoke Starsky, and it took a couple of minutes to remember where he was. Hutch's apartment. The TV was still on. He switched it off and ran to his partner whom he found, again, wrapped in another nightmare.

"Wake up, Hutch. Wake up." He started to shake Hutch while talking to him softly.

"No," Hutch said wincing at Starsky's touch. "Stop, please. Starsk, help."

"I'm here, Hutch. I'm right here. Come on now, open your eyes. Wake up, Hutch. There's no one, but me." Starsky climbed on to the bed and knelt beside Hutch. He gathered Hutch onto his chest and held him while rubbing his back.  

"Wake up, please, Hutch… wake up." Starsky kept on talking until Hutch's eyes fluttered open.

"Starsk?"

"Right here."

"Tell him to stop,"

"Tell whom, Hutch? "

"Father."

"Tell your father what?" Starsky asked. He placed a pillow on his lap and laid Hutch on it. "Tell you father what Hutch?" He moved his fingers through Hutch's hair, untangling the golden threads, hoping to ease Hutch's pain.  What did Hutch's father do to him?

"Hutch?"

Silence!

"What did you dream about?"

Silence!

"You were calling for me."

Hutch rolled over to the other side. "I... I... don't remember."

"You are a lousy liar, Hutch. You remember everything, very well. Come on, now, spill it out."

Hutch fell into a silence, again.

Hoping to release the tension off the tight body Starsky kneaded the muscles on Hutch's back. He had to get Hutch to speak. He knew what the hurt and pain locked inside could do to a person.

"Talk to me, Hutch," He pleaded.

"I- I was afraid, Starsky. I was so damn much afraid." Hutch unburdened himself, slowly.

"Of your father?" asked Starsky.

Hutch nodded.

Starsky was afraid, too. He was afraid to ask why Hutch was afraid of his father. "What did he do to you?" Starsky summed up the courage.

He turned Hutch's face towards him. Hutch's eyes were filled with tears. Starsky pulled Hutch up to him, and held the burning body against his chest, tightly. "What did he do to you Hutch?"

"He used to beat me up- when I was a kid," Hutch closed his eyes tight.

Starsky's inhaled sharply, tightening his grip on Hutch.

"It was a longtime ago, Starsk. I'm sure I deserved it"

"No kid deserves a beating, Hutch," Starsky's said, roughly. He rested his chin on top of Hutch's head. "Especially you," he added, swallowing hard. "Why did he do that, Hutch..?"

Hutch went on to explain what it was like for him when was a kid, to have parents that didn't express love like others.
"We had maids to cook, clean, and do all household chores and taking care of us. James and Annie, our butler and maid-- those two were the ones I spent my time with. They taught me what love is and why love is important. If not for them Starsk, I would have ended up just like my father- a cold hearted man that had no room for love. In my father's world, showing love and compassion is a weakness."

Starsky inhaled deeply, recalling how he himself not being so friendly to Hutch when he first arrived in Bay City. He held Hutch even tighter and closer to him, he promised himself to never hurt Hutch. I will love you like no one had ever loved you before and I will never let anyone get to you again... never!

"So why would he beat you?" Starsky still couldn't grasp the fact that Hutch being beaten.

"Ahh... I never reached his expectations."

"Like what?"

"Like getting 100% to all subjects."

"Like getting what???" Jesus. Ma and Pa were happy if I just made it to the next grade. 

"He had very high expectations, and in his mind I was a failure. I proved it when I dropped out from Med School."

"You dumped the big plans he had for you, huh?"

"I'm sure he would have loved to beat me, again, like when I was a kid when I announced that I was planning to join the Police force."

"Why did you decide to join the police force?"

"I really don't know, Starsk- I- I was glancing through the paper one day, sitting at the college cafeteria and saw this advertisement about Virginia Police academy. It just latched into my mind and I couldn't shake off the feeling that... that is what I should be doing though I had no idea what the Police was all about.  I figured I already had one degree and that was enough;  the thought of being a doctor never appealed to me. Starsk- I just thought that's what I'm destined to do just because my father wanted me to do, and then I grew out of it. So I applied to the academy, got selected, and I quit Med School."

"How did your father take it?"

"He- he kind of cut me out of the family."

"What?"

"Yeah... like I'm not a son of his anymore- I was kind of glad about that Starsk- I mean- I don't have to think of him and be worried about what he will think of me anymore- I felt free for the first time."

Though what Hutch was telling him were bits and pieces of his past Starsky managed to get a full picture of Hutch's life. He was proud of Hutch for being what he is now; a kind, compassionate, loving person in spite of his cold and loveless upbringing.

"So you don't keep in touch with him anymore?"

"No- I stopped calling them … my Mom would call me once in a while to check upon me.. but my dad.. well.. he err.. he has not come around yet."

"When did the beating stop?"

"The day I stood up to him?"
 
Starsky's face lighted up with a smile. "Really? You did? How did that happen?"

"Well… you see… it is not that he beat me every day. It was when I lost something or didn't do well in school. I mean not well enough for him or something like that?"

"So how often does that happen?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe once or twice a month."

Starsky did the math- twice a month…?And for how many years did this happen? He grit his teeth. Starsky had been beaten once in his life. He was devastated when he was punished for sneaking out of the house when his father had forbidden him to-  well… of course he deserved every bit of it, but he never got beaten up for not doing well at school.

"I managed to stay out of his sight when I know I didn't do good, but anyway-- one day I came home with a friend of mine-  Matt. He was not from a wealthy family, but I liked him a lot. He taught me a lot of things. When my father saw Matt his eyes just turned red, Starsk- I swear the eyes were blood red, and when Matt left, my father came at me with his belt saying that I was not supposed to bring  a 'lowlife' like Matt to his home."

'Lowlife'! That would be the exact word his father would use if he saw me, Starsky mused.

"I think that just did it for me. Accusing me of something is one thing, but I just couldn't stand it when it came to someone I cared about- actually  never thought that I would feel that strongly about Matt, but when my dad called him 'lowlife' I guess I saw red too."

"So wadd'ya do?" Starsky asked, marveling at the fact that Hutch had stood up for his friend.

Hutch was now his friend.

"When he raised his belt I got hold of it. I hung on to it and screamed and screamed and screamed at him until he let go of it. I guess I just decided that I wasn't going to take it anymore."

"I wish I were there to see our 'little' Hutch screaming," Starsky was all smiles. He was seeing Hutch in a whole different light now.

"I didn't give the belt back- I told him that if he ever raised a belt or anything again that I will kill him. I don't know who was surprised more by that statement- him or me- anyway that did it- I guess I was running on adrenalin at that time, but anyway… he never abused me 'physically' again- but his verbal abuse never ended- not until this day."

"I somehow cannot imagine you saying that you will kill him."

Hutch chuckled. "Neither did I- but the truth Starsk, I was still afraid of him, and that got to me at nights- once in a while I see him beating me and I cannot get him to stop- In my dreams, I'm a kid again, helpless and hopeless. Even now."

"Oneday, you'll learn to control that. You know that no one can hurt you." Starsky cupped Hutch's face in his palm and turned it towards him.

Hutch's face was flushed. He had had a rough night. He was still burning up.
"You have to get rid of your fever now- so you think you can try to get some sleep again- No one can hurt you anymore-   not when Starsky the ironman is around... Okay?  I will be right here." Starsky helped Hutch get comfortable under the covers, talking to him as if he was a little kid.

"You going to be on guard post?" Hutch asked.

"You bet."

"Thanks, Starsk. Thanks for being here for me- for everything."

Starsky's smiled and touched Hutch's cheek, softly. "Who left you?" he asked.

"What?"

"Who left you? Someone left you. Someone important enough."

Hutch stared at Starsky without blinking. He didn't bother ask why or how Starsky knew that someone had indeed left him and hurt him enough to leave a mark behind; like a scar tissue that hurt time to time.

"Vanessa," Hutch replied.  "My ex-wife."

"Why?"

"Because … because I joined the Police Force."

Starsky raised his eyebrows. "Just because of that?"

"Just because of that! That is the universal truth Starsk. Nothing's permanent and no one is perfect. We are on our own and there is no one to trust but one's own self," Hutch said, sadly.

"Is that what you still believe?"

"Don't you?" Hutch asked.

Starsky took Hutch's right arm in his hands. " I trust you.  I trust Me and Thee, partner. Go to sleep Hutch. No more worries."

Hutch closed his eyes, content and happy. He was safe as long as he had his partner with him.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are back, Mike!
Just dropped by.    
Anything I should know?
He needs you, and you need him.
I already know that.
Never lie to him.
I won't.
Lots and lots of patience.
I know!
You will one day come to love him like a friend, like a brother, like a father, like a partner.
Whatever you give him you will receive back a thousand times more.
I know that, too. Why are you smiling?
Ahh, Hutchinson. I'm sure you know why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a month since they had been working together- Dobey was happy with how things had turned out. Starsky didn't seem to have any problem with his partner; not one incident, not a single complain. He rubbed his hands together.  Life is good!

************************

Starsky was out with the dentist and Hutch was buried in some paperwork.

Phil Cameron walked into the squad room.

"What is he doing here? He should have known better than walking into this squad room,"
Simmons whispered to Jake.

"Hello, Simmons, is Jeff around?" Phil stopped at Simmons's desk and asked glancing around nervously.

Hutch raised his head to see who came in, and smiled at the tall dark haired guy.

Phil immediately strolled towards Hutch. "You must be the new guy, Hutchinson?" He asked, extending his hand "I'm Phil Cameron."

"Hello Phil, nice to meet you. Haven't seen you around here before."

"Nah... I'm with the 23rd precinct."

"Ahh... okay. I think Jeff has gone to pick some supplies. Should be here soon."

Simmons was getting nervous. If Starsky comes in now it will not be pretty. Seeing Phil getting all chum chum with Hutch was not going to look good either. Starsky could be here any minute. He wished Phil would leave, immediately.

But Phil had something else on his mind. He sat beside Hutch. "So where is Starsky?" He asked.

"At the dentist," Hutch replied.

Phil looked surprised. " That's a first," he said. "You actually know Starsky's whereabouts. Interesting."  He pulled the chair closer. "So how is it going?" he asked lowering his voice.

"How is what going?" Hutch asked, confused.

"With Starsky. How is it going?"

"Arr... well... Okay, I guess."

"Oh, come on." Phil slapped Hutch on his back. "I know that guy. He is the baddest ass in the department, and are you telling me that everything is okay? Not a chance, Hutchinson."

Hutch smiled, knowingly, and it was at that same time that Starsky came bouncing into the
squad room.

Shit! Simmons swore he could see the red bulbs glowing in Starsky's head when Starsky laid his eyes on Phil.

"Starsky, " Simmons in a flash stepped towards Starsky, but he was already at Hutch's side.
Phil's blood drained off his face when he saw the tight jeans and the long legs beside Hutch. He swallowed hard, avoiding looking at Starsky.

Sensing the change that came over Phil, Hutch looked up to see the fire balls emanating from Starsky's eyes. "Starsk?" Hutch asked.

"You stay out of this," Starsky's voice was even scarier.

Hutch pressed his lips together.  Okay, I'm not going to talk. My lips are sealed.

Starsky placed his arms on the table and leaned towards Phil. "What are you doing here?"

His question was simple but the tone he used was unlike anything Hutch had heard. It was deadly and cold. It made him shiver.

Phil stood up. Sweat beads forming in his forehead; his hands were trembling. Without another word he walked towards the door and pushed a file towards Simmons. "Give this to Jeff," he said and was out of the door in a flash of a second. We will meet again, Hutchinson- we will meet pretty soon. You can count on that, he said under his breath.

Hutch watched Starsky who was still standing where he was, watching the door with hawk-eyes.
"Starsk?" Hutch waited for a response, at least a 'you stay out of this' command. But Starsky didn’t even stir.

"Buddy?" Hutch continued. "Care to educate me on what that was all about?"

Starsky turned towards him. "What's wrong with you, huh? I step outside for an hour and you just can't stay away from trouble. Could ya?" He blamed Hutch.

"Now wait a minute," Hutch said bewildered. "What did I do? I was sitting here minding my own business."

"Ya- right!"

"Yes – it is right!"

"What was that bastard doing with you?"

"Bastard? You mean Phil?"

"Yeah. You see anyone else who fits the description?"

"Starsky, just for once, could you please tell me what's going on." Hutch was exasperated.

Instead of answering that question Stasrky stormed out of the squad room.

"Simmons? What's with Starsky?" Hutch asked his fellow officer.

"Phil was Starsky's last partner."

Ahhh.. the guy with the broken nose- jaw teeth… "So what happened?"

"No one really knows.  Only Starsky can tell you, and I doubt it if he would ever talk about it. All what we know is that, one day, Starsky was at the precinct, pretty worked up. He was like Mount Vesuvius. When Phil showed up that day, he was all roughed up with a broken nose and what not. Phil never said anything to us, but knowing Phil we suspected what must have gone down. The next thing we know, Phil getting transferred to another precinct. - "

"What about Phil?"

"Not something we talk about in the Police Force."

"What?"

"He is errr... you know... kind of... err... gay."

"Oh, Jesus." Hutch sat down with a sigh. He could only imagine.

"Yeah, and you know how Starsky is. 200% male and straight. I don't think he knew about Phil's tendencies when he was partnered with him. I mean gays are not exactly the advertised kind in the Police department,  if you know what I mean, not that Starsky has anything against gays. It is just that- well, he is not gay, and that kind of advances on to him could get a guy killed."

Yet Starsky had trusted Hutch's touch the very first day- or was it just because he was drunk and he didn't know.  

Hutch had to get to the bottom of the story, and for that he had to first find Starsky. He didn't see him until the end of the day,  until he finally tracked him down at his apartment.

Hutch sat in silence at Starsky's apartment, in his living room, nursing a beer in his hand- Starsky was leaning against the dining table. His eyes were on the TV. Starsky was back to his old self; the grumpy grouchy man that had no trust in anyone. Hutch winced at the sight of him.

"We have to talk." Hutch broke the silence.

"Okay, talk." Starsky said coldly.

"What happened with Phil?"

"Don't you dare speak his name in this apartment," Starsky shouted. "Don't soil this apartment with his name."

"Then just tell me what happened. I've got to know, Starsk, for heaven's sake I'm your partner." Hutch's voice matched Starsky's tone.

Starsky was breathing heavily and his eyes were blazing with anger. "Not for long," he said.

"What?"

"I asked Dobey to get you another partner."

"What?" Hutch asked disbelievingly. "What did you just say?"

"I said I have asked Dobey to let me go solo."

Hutch couldn't believe his ears. "Why? Why??? What did I do?" His heart was beating against his ribs. His airways were shrinking.

"You haven't done anything, Hutch. I just don't want you as my partner."

Starsky looked away. One month. We have been partners for one month and I don't like what we have together.  It is something I never had with anyone, and I don't like it. I'm getting all protective and it is doing things to my nerves. I have trusted you in a way I have never trusted anyone in my life, yet, I'm also afraid of trusting you;  afraid that one day I will lose that trust and that I will lose you altogether.

When Starsky saw Phil Cameron at the squad room it brought in all the bad memories he had tried so hard to forget. The unpleasant incident had shattered and shaken him to his core; he had lost trust in every human being, but then came Hutch. Within just one month he had trusted Hutch whole heartedly;  without any reservation. But seeing Phil today reminded him how deceiving one could be until they get a chance. That was a chance he couldn't take anymore, but then he also knew Hutch was different. The reason he wanted to be out of the partnership was not Phil or  what happened with Phil, but seeing him made him understand what trust could do and he trusted Hutch in a way he had never trusted anyone before. He had come to love his tall blond partner in a way he had never loved anyone before. Hutch was like a part of him; his own flesh and blood and he knew why he wanted out of the partnership. He didn't want to lose that friendship he has with Hutch. He didn't want to lose Hutch.

Starsky knew very well what happens to people he loved.

"No." Hutch yelled. "No. You can't do this. Not you too, Starsk. Why..? What did I do?"

Starsky's heart shattered into pieces at Hutch's distress. "Don't leave ever," Hutch had mumbled that night. But that's exactly what Starsky was going to do; one way or the other.

Starsky laid his hands on Hutch's shoulder, looking into Hutch's eyes. He couldn't bear to make Hutch feel that he had done something wrong. He didn't want Hutch to feel as if he was a failure.

"You didn't do anything. It is not your fault or anything like that. This is… this is for the best."

"Best for whom? - Don't do this, Starsk. For heaven's sake. We have a good thing going. Don't try to ruin it."

"You want the truth?" Starsky walked away from Hutch.

"Yes. Dammit, Starsk, yes. "

Starsky didn't want to be with Hutch because he knew, one day, Hutch will be taken away from him by someone, some lunatic, just like they took Terri away. But Hutch would never accept Starsky's decision. The truth hurts so damn much, Hutch. I can't afford to tell you the truth. The truth is that I don't want to lose you, and the only way to keep you safe is to let go of you.  Starsky didn't voice what was troubling him.  

"That bastard who was at the squad room today took something away from me and it took me ages to get over it. I cannot afford something like that again."  Starsky's voice was shaky, and he couldn't afford to look at Hutch.

"What the hell are you talking about? What did he do to you and why do you think I will be the same?" Hutch shook his head. "This doesn't make any sense. You owe me the truth, Starsk- What the hell did he do to you?" Hutch knew only what Simmons had told him the other day that Phil was gay. But... but I'm NOT gay. Of course I love Starsky for sure but not like that.  Have I done something to make Starsky think that I will turn into someone like Phil one day?

"I don't want to talk about it," Starsky said harshly. Just thinking of Phil Cameron made his skin scrawl, and the anger and pain of betrayal hit him as it had just the day it happened.  

"The hell you won't. If you don't tell me, I'm going to Dobey and I'm going to ask him or maybe I should ask Cameron himself."

"I'm sure he will tell you the truth," Starsky sneered controlling his anger.

"Well... what other choice do I have when MY partner refuses to talk to me, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay. I just don't want to talk about it!" Starsky yelled. He was breathing fast, and his eyes had turned almost into black with anger.

"Why not? Why can't you talk about it? You afraid of something? Huh?" Hutch had to get through Starsky one way or the other- even this means him losing a couple of teeth or ending up with a dislocated jaw. He was pushing too many buttons and he knew Starsky was about to explode.

"None of your Business, Hutchinson." Starsky made a fist.

"Oh, I don't know, Starsky. I think it is my business. When there is something my partner is trying to hide from me I think I have to know about it. What's  your secret, huh? What is this secret that you are trying to hide from me? Something so dark that you cannot talk about it? Looks like you are ashamed of something, partner!" Hutch knew he was going to suffer immensely for the last sentence he threw at Starsky, but he had no choice. He had to get the devil out of Starsky, but what Hutch didn't know was how deadly it could be when the point of control of Starsky is breached.

In a matter of seconds Starsky's fist came into contact with Hutch's right side cheek, and Hutch was flying across the room crashing onto a chair and falling on to the ground. It took a couple of seconds for Hutch to realize what happened and why he was lying on the ground and why his right side of the face felt like it had been hit by a jack-hammer.

On the other hand, it took less than a second for Starsky to realize what he had done. He had hit the one and only person he had come to love more than life itself. Starsky was horrified. He ran to the man lying on the ground in a flash praying that he had not done any permanent damage but he knew how deadly his arm could get. "Oh, God. Oh, God." Starsky was praying and muttering to himself.

Hutch saw Starsky running towards him and was alarmed- he covered his face with his arms
trying to prevent another blow on his face.

Starsky fell beside him and pushed his hands away and cupped his face with his hands, horrified to see blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. "Oh, God. What have I done?" Starsky took off his t-shirt and stared to mop away the blood trying to see the damage he had incurred.
Hutch got hold of his hands and stopped him. Starsky's white t-shirt was all spotted with blood now-

"It's alright. Starsk... stop. It hurts when you touch it." Hutch was just glad that he didn't feel any loose teeth but the pain was unbearable. He knew how strong Starsky is, but he also knew that even if he was in a rage, Starsky had still not used his full force on him and Hutch made a mental note that he would never do anything to make Starsky act like this again because he knew he would not be lucky next time.

"Why didn't you stop me, Hutch? Why the hell didn't you stop me?" Starsky turned Hutch's face and touched his cheek, feeling the jaw gently, checking whether he had broken anything. He had punched his partner. How could he do something like this? He had just punched him like he was some crooked criminal. This was Hutch. The guy who was like his shadow from day one.   

"I don't think anything is broken, Starsk- It just hurts. That's all. I guess you are losing your touch. Last time you did this, didn't the guy end up with a broken nose and a broken jaw and--"

"Who told you that?"

"I don't think that was a secret, and I guess the guys were warning me- "

"Like it did a whole lot'a good, huh? Hutch, how are you feeling?"

"Like one of those Caterpillar things ran over my face," Hutch fingered his cheek.

Starsky's eyes had watered up. Starsky gathered Hutch to his shirt-less, vest-covered chest. "Ah, Hutch." He mumbled.
How on earth did I manage to lose my temper on Hutch? He has done nothing, but be my friend from the day we were partnered He had trusted me, he had trusted me to not to hurt him, and I had promised him that I will never let anyone hurt him and then what did I do. I went and hurt him in a way no one had ever done. God, how could I? How could I?

"Hey, Starsk. Stop worrying. It wasn't your fault, buddy."

"Not my fault? Do you see anyone else in the room that--" Starsky paused. "Why the hell didn't you stop me, Hutch?"

"I wanted you to do this. I wanted to get what was boiling inside you out, Starsk. That's why I didn't stop you."

"Either you are insane or--"

"Or what?" Hutch raised his head searching Starsky's eyes.
Or you love me more than your life itself, Starsky didn't voice his thoughts.

Hutch smiled. "About time you realize that, buddy. You better get that into your head. I'm here to stay."

Starsky shook his head. So he also can hear my thoughts now. Great- just great!  "Stupid Blond. That's what you are, you know, a big tall stupid blond."

"Yeah… and that stupid blond is your partner. Maybe until death do us apart."

"No. Don't say that- I can't. We can't. No, Hutch. We can't be partners. We can't be together."

"Why Starsk?  What… what did Phil do to you?"

Everything just changed instantly. Starsky tried to push away Hutch, but Hutch held on. "No. You are not going to move away from me until you tell me what happened."

Starsky stared at Hutch silently, knowing that he had to put an end to this whole mess. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from the reddened bruised jaw. What a dick head am I?  How could I hit him? How could I hurt him like this? I'm as bad as his father - I don't deserve Hutch.

"I have to do some damage control first. Just wait right there," He touched Hutch's face gently, wincing when Hutch moved away from the touch automatically-

Starsky stood up and went into the kitchen. After a train of a clatter of pots and pans, and ten minutes later, Starsky came back with some towels and hot water.

"Hot water? Not Ice?" asked Hutch.

"This is something my grandmother taught me. Trust me on this, okay." Starsky sat on the floor near Hutch, leaning against the couch.

"Relax." Starsky coiled the towel by holding the two ends with his two arms. He dipped the middle in the hot water and squeezed the water out. He twisted the middle into a ball and checked how hot it was. Starsky patted his own arm with the hot balled towel for some time, until it reached the perfect temperature.

"Are you going to put that thing on my face?"

"Do you want it somewhere else?" Starsky shot back.

I hope you know what you are doing, Hutch thought.

"Of course I know what I'm doing, Hutch. Quit worrying, will ya?" Starsky said.

Hutch just shook his head. And he can hear my thoughts. Great – just great!

Starsky carefully patted Hutch's cheek with the warm towel, making sure to leave it there to let Hutch's cheek be warm and hot, but not too long to burn it.

Strangely, Hutch welcomed the comfort of the hot towel on his aching cheek. The pain eased in no time and he was feeling better by the second. "I'll be damned- that's good, Starsk."

"I told you that I know what I'm doing." Starsky kept on wetting the towel with hot water and massaging Hutch's cheek until the water was turning cold. "Ok- I think that did it. Feeling better?" Starsky asked, still looking concerned and guilty.

"Hey, I brought in on by myself- remember. I made you do it, Starsk."

Starsky frowned knowing that still it was no excuse to punch Hutch on his face, and now he also had to re-live the past he wanted so much to forget. "I guess I owe you a story, huh?" Starsky settled now beside Hutch.

"Yes you do, buddy."

"Well... He was my partner, my ex-partner". Starsky inhaled and exhaled deeply as if it would ease away the anger that was started to build up again. "He was like me. Had made detective kind of in the same time and I thought maybe we could get along together and maybe we will hit it off together. I sure did like him at the beginning. He is funny, you know. Had a very dry sense of humor. We were working on cases and we did good. We got each other, but… I didn't want to have anything to do with him outside work – I mean I never did." until you showed up and from the very first day you were at my apartment whenever we were away of work.

"And yet there I was at your apartment every day, from the very first day I was told you that you were my partner." Hutch gave a voice for the thoughts on Starsky's mind.

"Yeah, how about that, and see what that did to Ya?"

"Tell me about it." Hutch smiled. "So this guy... you liked him and he was kind of alright. So what went wrong?"

"One day he showed up at my apartment after work. He looked pretty upset, and said he needed to talk to me.  I invited him inside. I had not invited anyone to my apartment for a long time, other than Huggy, but then him being my partner and all I thought I have to be there for him because, you know, he looked pretty upset."

Hutch again thought of how he had been in Starsky's apartment, always after work, until Starsky fell asleep. Not once did Starsky make Hutch feel an unwanted guest. Oh, of course, he had always told him to get lost or stay away from him or something similar, but he had never made him feel 'unwanted'.

"Hey... you with me?" Starsky poked Hutch.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, just got side tracked."

"You were different, Hutch. From the very first time I saw you in that squad room, I knew you were different from everyone I had ever known. I knew, felt that... that you are not like him, either. " Starsky said as if he was reading Hutch's thoughts again.

Hutch was relieved. I'm not like Phil Cameron... That's good news! So I still have hope. If he knows that I don't have Phil Cameron's 'tendencies' then I still have hope of changing Starsky's mind back to being partners.

"Okay, so he was in your apartment; upset for something, what? His lover dumped him?"

"You know that 'bout him?" Starsky's head shot up with Hutch's question.

"Just that fact. Simmons told me when you left the squad room today."

"I didn't know. I never knew he... that he... err… liked guys that way. I mean I wouldn't mind of course, but I would have seen the signs from the beginning if I had known, and I would have been careful."

"Signs?"

"Yes- signs... like well… he used to always sit closer to me. Would always try to put his hand on my shoulders or touch my hand when he wanted to say something. I never gave it a second thought. Heck, Hutch, in my family we were always hugging and kissing and stuff. Touching is how we communicate. It is a part of our culture and I never saw anything wrong, until... until it was too late."

"So his lover dumped him and he wanted a shoulder to cry on. What happened next?" Hutch wanted to get to the story.

"What? No- No. He didn't say anything like his 'boy friend' giving him the boot or anything. He just said that he was going out with this girl and the girl had told him that she... SHE didn't want to see him anymore.  So he was crying and said that he needed someone to hold him. So I did... I just held him and he started to calm down, and everything seems to be just okay. After sometime I got ourselves a couple of beers, and we were just sitting and chit chatting of this and that.. Then he started to tell me that I was the only person that truly cared about him. At that point he looked drunk, and I thought that maybe he had got himself some drinks even before he showed up at my door step. Anyway.. I just didn't like--"

"Soapy scenes ?" Hutch asked cutting him off effectively.

Starsky smiled, nodding.

"Hard to believe that, Starsk, since I'm sure you and I--"

"Cut that out okay. You and I are different- period!"

"Okay. Glad to get that down. So you were getting uncomfortable…"

"Yes- So I said that I'll fix us something to eat, and I went to the kitchen. You know my kind of dinner, but I tried to make some sandwiches with what I had…"      

"Sandwiches? You? Did you even have bread?"

"Of course I had bread. I like to eat toast you know."

"And what else did you have… your kind of sandwiches must be peanut butter and jelly... am I correct?"

"What's wrong with peanut butter and jelly?" Starsky was serious.

"Nothing buddy- there's absolutely nothing wrong with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Go on, so you were preparing your sandwiches." You are worse than an eight year old kid though you look like the toughest roughest guy on earth-

"Yes, and I hadn't even finished my beer- when I went back to him with the sandwiches he had already opened another beer for me."

Hutch didn't like where this was heading. Suddenly he felt a shiver going through his body and goose bumps on his neck and arms. "Starsk…? Are you going to say what I think you are going to say? The beer--?" Hutch remembered the first day when he brought a case of beer with him. Starsky didn't drink any of that- he had his own and refused one from Hutch. "He drugged it- didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Son of a bitch!" Hutch cursed.

"I never suspected a thing. I had a sip from the beer and offered him the sandwiches. He was acting kind of funny at that point… like nervous--"

Hutch wasn't sure whether he wanted to hear anything anymore. He was afraid to think of what might have happened.  He shook with rage.

"Do you want me to stop?" Starsky asked gently.

"No. No. Go on." Though he wasn't sure anymore

"Alright. You asked for it so you better listen, at least to what I can remember."

What he can remember?  Hutch winced. God.  I don't want to hear that Starsky was … NO! I don't want to even think of something like that.

"So I just sat there, drank my beer, ate and watched TV while making small talk. And then I started to feel funny, like my head was getting too big to be sitting on my neck... you  know... that kind of feeling… and then he asked whether I was feeling alright. I just couldn't even say anything. Everything was happening so fast, and in another second everything buzzed around me and the room was turning and turning. I was sweating and Cameron laid me on the couch."

Starsky had pushed and locked up the faint images he remembered of that night. Phil unbuttoning his shirt, Phil whispering in his ears that he was going to take care of him and he was going to make him feel good that he will never want anyone else but Phil.

"So he was saying all these things and he started kissing me. I tried to push him away, telling him to leave me alone and that I don't want him, but he kept on telling me that I was all confused and that he was just the person I needed in my life, and that I was the only person for him- and that he loved me."

"Ohh Shit!... Shit!" Hutch was barely controlling his rage by then. He was punishing Phil in his mind in every possible way he could imagine of.

"He wanted me to drink more beer so that it will help me to clear my head. Even in that state I realized what must've happened and I threw the beer on the ground. I knew he had drugged me, and I didn't know what to do. My whole body felt like jelly- legs were wobbly and I couldn't get up, and he just couldn't keep his hands off me; saying that I was confused and that he knew what was good for me and I'm going to like what he was going to do to me."

Starsky had never been that scared and helpless in his life before. Scared because he was unable to stop the maniac his partner had turned into; scared what will become of him if he couldn't stop the guy.

"Then he started to open my fly."

"Jeez..." Hutch let his face fall into his arms, unable to look at Starsky anymore; unable to stop the images playing in his mind.

"And I knew I couldn't let the guy touch me. I was going to get up even if it killed me. I tried to push him away but I had no strength at all, Hutch. I .. I had never felt  that weak in my entire life. I was at mercy of my own partner, the guy I trusted my life with, the guy who should've had my back, huh, irony of that eh? That is exactly what was in his mind I'm sure."

Hutch looked as pale as ever. No wonder Starsky didn't want to be touched after this. Had he known the extent of what had happened before… he would have stood a mile away from him before talking to him... but surprisingly, Starsky never seemed to misjudge any of Hutch's loving touches or caresses... to trust me like that after he had gone through something like this.

"I think I lost it when- when I felt him…. on me."

"Ohh, God… Starsk." Hutch's voice was a unsteady shaky whisper.

"I just didn't want to be a victim, and I knew how the situation would look like. He was at my apartment. I had opened my door for him. We were having beer together, and how on earth could I even prove it to anyone that he drugged me and tried to take advantage of me when I was even bigger than him."

He had felt dirty and violated. He just couldn't let that happen. David Starsky was not going to be a rape victim. It had taken his will power to get up in spite of the physical weakness he was feeling due to the drug Phil had used on him. He had pushed Phil off him and kicked him on his face, and when he was on the ground he had kicked him in his groin, knowing that was the best way to inflict maximum pain to make a guy weak and unable to strike back. Starsky had not stopped. He had punched him again and again, and stumbled into the bathroom and locked himself in there until the effects of the drugs were worn out. Fortunately, Starsky had not drunk the whole bottle of beer so that within another few minutes he was out of the drug effect.

"Was he still in your apartment when you came out?"

"Yes- he was a bloody mess. He was sitting on the floor, crying... and apologizing over and over again. Begging me to not to report it, and I actually felt sorry for the guy that time."

"How could you feel sorry for him, Starsk, for God's sake he wanted to rape you."

"Yaa... I know that – but the way he was shaking and crying. He said that he loved me and that he only wanted to love me, not to hurt me.. well… I told him that I didn't want him as my partner anymore. He accepted that fact."  

"How the hell is he still in the Police force, Starsk?"

"I didn't press charges."

"What?"

"I told everything to Dobey 'off the record' and well... He was transferred to another unit with the warning that he will be kicked out next time."

"That's insane Starsk – How could they--"

"Listen. If I had reported this and pressed charges there would have been a court hearing- how am I going to prove that it was NOT consensual.  It was my word against him- it wouldn't have changed a thing, Hutch and I knew it. They may even have kept him in the same precinct. The condition would have been worse. I at least got rid of him for good. He never showed up at our precinct until today. Wonder why he dropped by."

"He said he had to give some files to Jeff."

"Jeff? I don't think Jeff would have asked anything from him- He may have volunteered to bring them as an excuse to come over."

"He ever tried to contact you after that?"

"He send me flowers."

"What? What did you say?" Hutch couldn't believe his ears.

"He sent me flowers- red roses ... dozens of them. To my apartment, apologizing and asking me to give him another chance to explain. I sent everything back."

"Did he stop after that?"

"No- up to now he has sent me roses another couple of times- I always return them, but he hasn't given up."

"Wellhh… I guess after all he IS in love with you, Starsk." Hutch said while poking Starsky on his ribs.

"Cut that out, okay?"

"Well think of it, Starsk- you gave him nothing but broken teeth and a fractured jaw and--"

"I know what I did to him. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not sorry for what I did either."

"So like I said, after all those 'memories' you 'lovingly' gave him, if he still thinks that he has a chance with you. The poor guy is hopelessly in love with you."

"Stop it, okay. I'm not flattered. It makes my skin crawl. So just stop it."

It is not funny, Hutch thought. Starsky may not understand it yet, but Phil doesn't seem to be a guy who was going to give up- and now I'm Starsky's partner and maybe that is why he wanted to come to the squad room- to check me out and see whether I was 'competition.'

Still there was something else that bothered Hutch- If Starsky doesn't believe that Hutch is 'like' Phil, and if Starsky trusts him, then why is he trying to break off the partnership.?

"Starsk?"

"Hmm."

"Do you think that ... err... that I will... one day turn into someone like Phil?"

"Are you nuts? If I thought of something like that I wouldn't have allowed you one step in here."

"Okay, but I did 'touch' you, and held you and--"

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Starsky asked in his usual straight forward no nonsense way.

"Jeez, Starsk, for heaven's sake. NO."

"Well then, what are you worried about?"

"You said you couldn't afford something like Phil, again. So if you trust and 'know' that I'm not another 'Phil" what is it then? What is it you are afraid of? What is it that made you decide to break off this partnership?"

Starsky looked at the photograph beyond Hutch.

Hutch instantly knew what caught Starsky's eyes. Terri- Aww Starsk! Is that why you don't want to be with a partner for a long time?

"You cannot get rid of me Starsk. Not that easily. This is not what Phil did, Is it? You think you are protecting me from the bad guys? You think that someone who has some vendetta against you will try to get me. Don't you? What will happen if I get killed out there on the street because my 'new' partner, whoever I have to work with once you give me the boot, does not watch my back? Can you live with that?"

"Stop it, Hutchinson. Ain't going to work."

"So you don't care if I get wasted eh?"

"You won't."

"Can you be sure of that?"

"Not my problem-"

"Oh... right- so that's the real reason- you are just scared to take responsibility. The wonderful
David Michael Starsky is scared to take the responsibility. How about that?"

 "You don't understand." Starsky snapped.

"The hell I don't! I'm not letting you do this to us, Starsk- We have something special going and you know it- You get me and I get you. I don't think there are any two people out there different like we are from each other, but we get each other; we understand each other although we don't even know that much about us. And you are not going to throw what we have away. I will not allow it."

"Hutch, please."

Hutch was in front of Starsky in a flash of a second. "Now you listen to me." Hutch held Starsky by his shoulders and shook him vigorously to bring him back to earth from whatever world he is right now. "I will not allow it. Don't you dare get another partner Starsk. I mean it!" Hutch's harsh voice startled Starsky. He had never seen Hutch like this.  

"Whaddya going to do if I did?"

"I will beat the crap out of you, and him- whoever he will be." Hutch muttered, and released
Starsky. He sat on the couch, his face lying on his palms. Who am I kidding- who can stop Starsky from doing what he wants to do- If he doesn't want me as a partner who am I to stop it from happening- He suddenly felt tired- drained out-.

I'm sorry, Mike!

"Starsk- if you don't want to be my partner, then I don't want to be at BCPD anymore. I will ask for a transfer- out of here," his voice was small, soft- shaky.

"No you are not!" Starsky said sharply. "You can't just run away like that." Now it was Starsky's moment to be alarmed. He didn't want to see Hutch leave. All what he wanted was to see Hutch every day, in one piece, and the only way in his mind to keep Hutch safe was not to be his partner.

"Can you remember you asked me whether I will have a reason to remain in Bay City the very first day I was here, when you took me out for lunch? Well, I won't have a reason to be here if you are not my partner anymore, Starsky. It is simple as that."

"Arrrrhhhhg, Hutch. Stop that." Starsky's response was just what Hutch was hoping for.
This might be the only way Hutch could change Starsky's mind. He watched Starsky, hopefully- praying that Starsky will change his mind -

"Please try to understand, Hutch." Tears glistened in Starsky's eyes. " It's complicated- I… for me, everything was perfect when Terri was alive. I had a rookie partner at that time. Not a permanent partner; just someone I was training, and then Terri and I was planning to get married. She was the best thing that happened to me, Hutch. She was just perfect. There's no other way to explain."

Hutch didn't dare make a move. He wanted Starsky to tell him everything.

"Then everything changed- A guy who was put behind bars for murder got out, and he got to Terri. Just one bullet and she was taken away from me. Because she was 'MY' girl, Hutch. If it wasn't for me she'd still be alive. God, I miss her so much. There's not a day that goes by without remembering something she said. She accepted me for what I am, Hutch. She knew it wasn't easy to be a cop's wife, but she accepted it- The number of times I had to cancel our  dates were way more than the times we actually had dates, but she understood. Never once did she blame me or complain. She just loved me for who I am and she is the only one who has loved me like that, Hutch, and I lost her. I lost her because of ME- I have to live with that for the rest of my life and I don't want another one like that."

"Starsk." Hutch felt tears on his eyes. He couldn't stand to see his partner in pain like this.

"Please, Hutch. Try to understand. After Terri, right now I feel that you are the most important person in my life."

Hutch never in his life imagined he would hear words like that from anyone, especially not from Starsky. Ahh buddy.. if you only knew how much those words mean to me- if you only know how much you mean to me.

"I didn't want to feel this way about anyone again, but you, with all your love and soft talking and all those nights looking out for me. You just had me at your finger tips- didn't ya? You just knew exactly what do to, how to look at me;  what to say and when to say- right from the very first day at BCPD."

"Starsk,"

"I know you never planned it that way. It was just that- you... you are so... so pure, Hutch-"

"Starsk- don't." Hutch was at Starsky's side in two strides and hugged him as tight as possible. No, he had not planned it like that but he had already made up his mind about this partnership when he joined BCPD. He felt Starsky's arms go around his waist holding him as tightly as he was.

After sometime Starsky moved his arm towards Hutch's head- gently rustling his silky hair. Hutch let his tears flow through freely- he didn't know why he was crying, but he didn't want to stop himself. He rested his forehead on Starsky's shoulder- Starsky was his partner- he will never let go for him- never!

Hutch raised his head and looked directly into Starsky's face-"Don't ever tell me that you want another partner or that you want me to have another partner. I never want to hear those words from you again, got it?"

"Hutch--"

"NO. You are not asking for another partner, and I don't want to work with someone else, either. You are my buddy- My Partner! Get that into your thick head of yours and live with it."

"My, My. Haven't seen anyone possessive like this," Starsky sounded surprised.

"Well, then get used to it. The sooner you get that into your head, the better." Hutch said roughly.

"What if I lose you Hutch?" Starsky gently placed his palm on Hutch's cheek.

"You won't – I promise you that, Starsk!"

"How can you?"

"I can and I will. Did you think there are two sides to a coin? What if someone gets to you because of me? What am I supposed to do then? Should I also consider leaving you sometime in the future anticipating something like that?"

Starsky's expressions  changed immediately.

"Not the same when you are at the receiving end right? Now do you understand how I feel? Listen- Starsk. What I believe is that when we are born, we bring a certain number of days of living with us into this world. When those days are gone, we leave- and no one can stop that. So, I think, Terri would have left anyway, Starsky… that was all she brought into this world. She would have moved on whether she was with you or not. It was sad the way she had to go, but if it was not a bullet it would have been something else-. She would have moved on no matter what. It was not your fault, buddy."

"You think so?" Starsky so much wanted to believe Hutch- wanted to believe that he could not have prevented Terri's untimely death.

"Yes- I believe so, and yes I think so. Think of us, Starsk- I come from Minnesota, graduated at Virginia. You are from New York- came to California, graduated from LA, and yet here we are. Did we for once imagine that we would be partners? But we are. That is fate, Starsk- Well, not everything is because of fate, of- course we make our own destiny with our actions, but... some things are just meant to be or meant not to be; simple as that- we just have to accept it and move on with life, Starsk."

Starsky gazed at the sky blue eyes so desperately wanting to believe him and accept what happened was something that he could not have changed- somehow it made sense- what Hutch said made sense.  

 "You loved her, made her happy. Although I haven't known you for a life time, Starsk, I know that loved by you cannot be compared to anything else. You are a very special man David Michael Starsky- believe it! The ones who get to know you- the ones loved by you – they are the luckiest of all."

Starsky's vision was getting all blurred from the tears that was filling up his eyes- No, not me,  Blondie- you are the one who is special.  

"You are one smooth talking devil." Starsky tried his best to smile through his tears and all the emotions that had swelled up in the middle of his chest.

"Comes in handy in times like this" Hutch answered smiling- I will never let you go, Starsky.  I will never let you leave me. Hutch promised himself, he promised that to Starsky.
He promised Mike!

"I hate soapy scenes," Starsky grumbled and moved away from Hutch's arms. Hutch pressed his lips together to stop him from laughing. Ahh, Starsky! What am I going to do with you!

Starsky walked over to the fridge and took out two bottles of beer and handed over one to Hutch. They still had a lot to talk about but they had to first allow themselves to get back to their normal selves; out of the raw emotions that had consumed both of them.  

"Starsk?"

"Hmm?"

"I think you have to make call."

"What call?"

"To Dobey?"

"Dobey? Why?"

"You will have to cancel the request you made earlier- "

"Nahh. I don't think he would have allowed me to go through with it."

"What if he already found someone else for you?"

"Then you will have to beat the crap out of him, don't ya?"

Hutch chuckled… I will if I have to!

"Hey Hutch?"

"Yeah?"

"Why the Headboard?"

"What?"

"How come you were going to cuff me to the headboard, and not to a chair or a table?"

 "Well… I figured that it will take a longtime for you to change your mind. So better leave you in a comfortable position, though God knows that you don't deserve it."

"Oh. But the couch would have been fine too, you know."

"And where in the couch can I cuff you?"

"Ah."

"Yeah, Ah, mushbrain!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhh, Mike. I certainly have my work cut out for me. He is indeed a kid!
You have no idea what you have got yourself into, do you Kiddo?
I have tasted it a little bit.
And?
I think I'm living the life I was supposed to live, Mike.
You know it is not a bed of roses.
Never imagined it to be one of those.
You two will be alright.
Mike... do you… do you ever talk to him, like you do with me?
That's exactly what I'm doing, through you,  but not for long…
So this time you are leaving for good?
I might!
Talk to him... by yourself... before you go.
He grieved too much. His heart is not open anymore. I can't get to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three months into their partnership, Starsky and Hutch had an impressive record of busting criminals. The dynamic duo had earned the respect and admiration from their colleagues and their supervisor. They were inseparable – they never hid the love they felt for each other and only the ones that knew the two clearly understood what they had together. They were like blood brothers- loved each other like crazy.  They were the two sides of the same coin, pods of a pea, the left and right of a pair of shoes – one had to be with the other for completion- no one knew where Starsky ended and where Hutch begun anymore- Starsky: the untouchable guy was now never more than two inches away from his tall blond partner, and Hutch: the once shy and lonely guy who didn't believe that love existed in this world was now wrapped in love of a dark curly haired wild hurricane. Hutch was at home where he belongs. In Hutch's world the sun rose and set with Starsky.

They rode to the station mostly together but sometimes they came on their own. Today was one of those days. Starsky was humped over some files, whereas Hutch was nowhere to be seen. Starsky glanced at the door time to time hoping to see the familiar figure appearing. Where the hell is Hutch-? Starsky had called him at home, but had no luck. He assumed maybe he was on his way, but knowing Hutch, who never was late to work, Starsky was now worried.

"Cap'n – something is wrong with Hutch?"

"Hrrmph? Did he call?"

"No he didn't."

"Then how do you know?"

"That is WHY I know. He would have called if everything was ok."

"Now that does not make sense, Starsky. Listen to yourself."

"Don't you see, Cap'n- if he was ok, he would have called to let me know that he will be getting late, but today I haven't heard or seen him, and it is 10 o'clock- Hutch is NEVR late to work- I have to go and see Cap'n.?"

"Okay. And when you find him, drag his sorry ass here as soon as possible. "

"Aye Aye Cap'n." Starsky saluted him and out of his office in a flash.

***
 Starsky ran the stairs up to Hutch's apartment, two at a time- and as soon as he got to the door he knew something was not right- the door was slightly ajar-

"Hutch?" He called out feeling his heartbeat against his ribs. Something was deadly wrong. He stepped into the house and saw the tell tale signs of a struggle in the living room. There were blood drops... near the refrigerator.

NO. Not again- Not Hutch too!  A wave of stark horror washed over Starsky when he thought that another crooked criminal had got to his partner.

Grabbing the telephone he called Dobey. "Cap's send the crime scene lab as soon as possible to Hutch's apartment- he has been taken." Starsky quickly called it in.

Half an hour later, Hutch's apartment was streaming with uniforms, crime scene lab techs, officers, and yes, Dobey too.

"Just nothing- only the blood. Not even a note. Nothing. Just nothing. Who did this and why?" Starsky was racking his brain. He had already asked to check out all the thieves, robbers, murderers he had put behind bars- For him this was Terri all over again.

"I don't know where to start."

"When did you last see him?"

"Last night. He was at my apartment." Like always, he stayed until I fell asleep. "And I was sleeping by the time he left, must be sometime close to 11."

So Hutch had come back to his own apartment. What did he do? Starsky started to think like Hutch. He went to the bedroom. Hutch's gun was on the nightstand.  He was getting ready to sleep. Clothes he had worn the other day were the laundry basket. So he must have been in his pajamas. His bathrobe is missing. Hutch was wearing both pajamas and a bathrobe?
The front door was not broken in. So he opened the door for someone; someone he knew, but who? He looked around the living room. Blood drops at the fridge. So he went to the fridge to get something- beer..? maybe- and then he must have been attacked from behind.

"Who came in the middle of the night that Hutch knew enough to open the door, and why did he attack Hutch?"

"Let us see whether the crime lab can get back to us with some prints or stuff."

"Okay, I will take to the streets," Starsky was out and at Pits before long.

"Hug... you know anything?"

"Starsky, man, not a word on the streets about a cop being wasted. I'm in the dark as you are in here."

"This is not happening.  This is just not happening. I'm going out of my mind, Hug. Got to find Hutch before it is too late, and I haven't got a clue."

Hug laid a hand on Starsky's shoulder. He knew how much Hutch meant to him- and for his sake, he thought, Hutch better be okay. If this is something like Terri, God help us all.

By the end of the day Starsky was a bundle of nerves. He checked and re-checked all records of the criminals that they were responsible in putting behind bars. They were still behind bars... shit! Although knowing that every criminal they brought in was still in prison was a good thing, right now what it meant was that there was no one he could go after. He closed his eyes and leaned against the chair. Where are you, Hutch? Where the hell are you?

***********

"Nothing."

Starsky opened his eyes at Dobey's voice. "Huh?"

"Crime scene revealed nothing of the kidnapper or kidnappers. No prints, nothing."

"Blood?"

"Human for sure."

Hutch!

"Dammit!" Starsky stood up throwing the file he had in his hand on the table and pushing the chair backwards with such ferocity that it banged against the wall.

"Get yourself together, Starsky." Dobey's voice was authoritative.

"I should not have been partnered with him. I told you. I told you to not to do this. Now I have lost him, too." Starsky stared at Dobey's face and walked away from the squad room.

"We don't know anything yet, Starsky, don't jump into conclusions," Dobey bellowed at the retreating figure.

Bang! The squad room closed behind Starsky.

"What are you looking at? Get to work," Dobey shouted at the others and went back to his office. He was tired, and he was worried sick. One of his detectives were gone missing and there was nothing he could do.

**********

Starsky came back an hour later, with all the files of the criminals- again- and started going through each one of them hoping to find something he missed. One by one the others left but Starsky was hunched over the files, determined to find something.

That was how he was when Dobey found him next morning-

"Starsky!! Did you spend the whole night here?"

"Just nothing Cap'n- I couldn't find a damn thing- I checked the ones I had in jail before Hutch joined BCPD- and some of them are still doing time and the ones that are out ain't that kind of fellows- I just don't know what to do. " Starsky sounded defeated frustrated and forlorn.  

"Why don't you go home and try to get some sleep, son."

"Sleep ? NO! shower? Maybe. Maybe it'll help me to get my head clear," Starsky agreed, seeing that he could not have done anything else for the moment.

**************

 He hit the shower and racked his brains to find something that would jump at him and give a clue as to where his partner was, but nothing did. Hutch opened the door for someone- someone he knew- but who?

Starsky fell asleep as soon as he moved onto the couch- the exhaustion took over him and- it was a while later that the phone started ringing and Starsky answered it half awake half asleep.

"Huh.. what?"

"Starsky, you awake?" that was Captain Dobey.

Starsky swung his feet onto the floor trying to understand what was going on. Why did he feel so tired? He was in the station whole night looking up-- Oh God- Hutch- Hutch was missing.

"Cap'n? Did you find something?"

"Not sure. But you should come to the station, right away."

"What's going on Cap'n – what happened?"

"See for yourself. Come on."

"Is he okay?"

"He is not dead for sure, at least not until a couple of hours ago."

"What have you got to prove it?"

 "A video- and err... his father?"

"His Father? What has he got to do with this?"

"The video was sent to him."

"Why?"

"The kidnapper is asking for money for the release of Hutch."

"How much?"

"157,321 dollars"

"What?"

"Yep- doesn't make any sense. So just take a look at the video and talk to the guy and see what you could make of it."

Starsky wasn't sure what to expect of Hutch's father. This was a father who severed ties with his only son just because he joined the Police force.

Starsky got dressed and drove back to the precinct.

He found Hutch's father in Dobey's office. The resemblance was unmistakable. The guy was so much like Hutch; tall and lean- straight golden hair. Blue eyes just like Hutch's, but cold.

"Starsky. This is Doctor Richard Hutchinson," Captain Dobey introduced the man to Starsky, and then introduced Starsky as Hutch's partner. "If anyone can find Hutch, that'll be Starsky," he finished.

The doctor nodded and looked at Starsky from head to toe. Starsky was sure the doctor wasn't liking what he saw. Oh yes... I'm one of those 'low lives' in his eyes.

"When did you get the video?" Starsky started asking questions; the sooner the better.

"Yesterday afternoon. I went to Minnesota Police Station right away and errr... they asked me to come here.  I took the first flight of the day."

"You went to MPD?"

"Well... Ken never told me that he was getting transferred to Bay City."

"Hmm... wonder why," Starsky's voice had a sarcastic edge to it.

Captain Dobey played the video and Hutch's face came into focus. Starsky held his breath feeling a shiver going through his body.

Hutch was seated on a chair, blindfolded. There was blood soaked into the piece of cloth that bound his eyes, and blood had drained along the side of his head and apparently dried up. His hands were tied behind him, and most probably tied to the chair as well.

Hutch was in some sort of a room. The only light that was coming through was from a small window. Starsky could only see the walls and the chair Hutch was tied to. There was nothing else in the room. Then they heard a voice of a man; most probably the kidnapper. The man walked towards Hutch and got hold of a clutch of hair and yanked Hutch's head up. Hutch grit his teeth without crying out of pain; his face was bruised.

"Doctor Hutchinson, Recognize who this is?" The kidnapper talked. He had a mask on him that showed only his eyes and the lips. "I have got your son. He doesn't have that much time to stay alive - if you don't get me hundred and fifty seven thousand three hundred and twenty one dollars by tomorrow, your precious son will be dead."

"You are wasting your time mister. I have no father," Hutch said and the man slapped him across the face.

Starsky winced. 

"Shut your mouth you son-of-a-bitch- I wasn't talking to you." The man barked at Hutch and kicked him that made the chair swing and roll over with Hutch. Hutch's body hit the floor with a thud. "You are actually A Son of A Bitch. You know that?" The kidnapper laughed a bitter smile.

Starsky's knuckles that were gripping the chair had gone deadly white. His lips were pressed into a thin line. Hang in there, Hutch- Hang in there- I will find you buddy-

"Well, Doctor Hutchinson." The kidnapper faced the camera. "Get your money ready and drop it off at the Bay City Park telephone box at Marlow street at 4.41 in the afternoon tomorrow, or your son will be dead. I don't give a damn whether you go to the Police or not." The masked man laughed again. "Not easy to watch when you know you have no control over the situation. Ain't that right, Doctor? I make the rules today. I will decide whether your son lives or dies." Another ugly laugh and the video went blank.

4.41pm!
 
Starsky looked at his watch. It was 11.45 in the morning. Only another five hours left.

"I have the money," Doctor Richardson said- showing his briefcase.

"We don't give in to kidnappers, Doctor" Dobey answered quickly and Starsky's face turned into red.

"We are doing whatever it takes to get Hutch back, Captain- and if we have to give the money then mark my words we damn well will give the money to the bastard. That is my partner and I will not stop until I see him back- alive. "

"That is going against the rules, Starsky and you very well know the department does not pay,"

"Fuck the rules, Captain. This is Hutch we are talking here. And this is not department's money, either. This is Doctor Richardson's money." Starsky shouted back. His eyes were burning with fury and Dobey had to look away to avoid getting burnt from his stare.

Starsky was like a wounded animal- and Dobey knew better than approaching such a wild beast.

Richard Hutchinson looked at Starsky and for once he couldn't come into a conclusion whether this was an angel from heaven or a demon from hell. No matter what, the man was going to do his best to bring his son back and that is all what matters- Although they never saw eye to eye- Richard Hutchinson never would have wished his son dead. That was his son and it was his duty to keep him safe- if possible.

Captain Dobey was breathing heavily knowing that he could not change what Starsky has already decided- It was better to give in than wasting precious time that could be used to find Hutch.

"So what do you propose we do?" he finally asked.

"Let me think for a while; the tape doesn't make sense and I just can't get where it had gone wrong." Starsky's eyes were narrowed into thin slits.

"What do you mean the video doesn't make sense?" Dr. Hutchinson asked.

"Like I said- I'm not sure which point- Ok- let us take this point by point- Do you have enemies Dr. Hutchinson?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, there is someone out there holding something against you, and that person has your son. This is something to do with you.  Think- in your profession, I'm sure you cannot be successful all the time."

"Now what does that suppose to mean?"

"For heavens fucking sake, Doctor, don't tell me that a patient has never died on your watch." Dr. Hutchinson opened his mouth but closed it back again.

"Of course people die- "

"Okay, then- think of patients that didn't make it and see whether someone stands out of them."

"I will have to get all my patients' files faxed here."

"I will help with you that. What else, Starsky-" Dobey intervened.

"The money. One hundred and fifty seven thousand and 321. Doesn't make sense. Why? why that specific amount? Why not 150 thousand or 200 thousand? Why 157 and then the 321... 21???? Does this amount ring a bell, Doctor?"

"I for one am clueless, Detective Starsky."

Useless.. just useless Starsky cursed.

"Okay, Doc. Get the files of the people that died while being treated by you and check whether this money, 157,321 makes sense. Whether it was needed for some sort of a treatment or a surgery or, whatever, and Captain, send someone to the telephone booth he mentioned. Get someone to watch it from now onwards, and we are going to make the drop at 4.41. I want someone watching that booth every fucking minute."

Dobey had never heard Starsky cursing this many times before. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to find out whatever I can from Huggy- I still feel things are not what they seems to be. Why 4.41. Why 41? Either this guy has some fetish on numbers or these numbers really do mean something. Captain- who knows about the video tape?"

"No one."

"Good. Keep it that way."

"Whom do you want to send the money with?"

"Jake. Send the money with Jake, and the rest can go watch the damn telephone booth."

Starsky stepped out of the office and halted when he saw Phil Cameron walking into the squad room.

"Starsky, please, man. I heard what happened.  I just came to see whether I can help, please," Phil stammered.

"Thank you, and appreciated, but there is nothing you can do for the moment other than staying away the hell out of my way." Starsky's voice was devoid of any emotion.

Phil Cameron pressed his lips together.

Starsky stormed out of the squad room and Phil ran behind him.

"Starsky- wait- have you heard anything? Do you know who got Hutch?"

"No- we don't."

"Heard there was a lot of blood. Do you think?"

"Think what?" Starsky turned to face Cameron. "Think what, Cameron?" he asked fiercely.

"Well... I was just thinking--"

"I don't want to hear a thing from you. Thanks for the concern, but like I said there is nothing anyone can do for the moment."

"Do you have any witnesses? I mean there should be someone that must have seen."

Phil Cameron can be a pest sometimes, Starsky remembered. Instead of answering that question Starsky just glared at him. Get lost Cameron, have you forgotten already how painful it could be?

"Yeah I guess that answers the question." Cameron sighed. "Guess we'll have to make his plants talk to get information. Well... like I said, no hard feelings, Starsky, please let me know if I could help."

Starsky got out of the Station feeling dirty. Every time he see Cameron he gets the urge to go and shower and rub himself to get the image of Cameron out of his head. Today he didn't have time for that. He drove to see Huggy, but something Cameron had said didn't make sense. Starsky just couldn’t quite put his finger on the reason.

"Huggy… anything?"

"Nope. This is very very unusual, man."

"Hear me out. We got a video tape from the kidnapper. Hutch's father got it, actually, and the kidnapper's demanding 157, 321 dollars."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"The good doctor is trying to find out. Does this mean anything to you, Hug?"

Huggy shook his head.

"And the other thing, the drop has to be done at 4.41pm. Any idea why 4.41 is important, today?"

"No, but I think hearing something about 4.15."

"No, not 4.15. Something is going to happen at 4.41." Starsky looked at his watch. 1.55.

"So this kidnapping has nothing to with you or any busts you and Hutch made?" Huggy asked
wanting to break the silence.

"Doesn't look like that, but you never know. He asks for money from Hutch's father; had sent the video to him."

"Well, he could have done it that way knowing the department wouldn't give in."

"Yes… it could be that, too. I'm going back to the station. I have to watch that tape, again, Huggy. I could have missed something- try to find about 4.41."

And the conversation with Phil Cameron constantly nagged Starsky.

Starsky was back in the station in no time, and watched the video for the fourth time. He frowned, tugging at his eyebrows. A sign that he was nervous; nervous because time was running out and he still didn't know where his partner was.

The Doctor had the faxes of his patients that didn't make it; 17 patients had died under his watch.

 Starsky noticed the sad expression in the doctor's face. "Found something?" he asked.

"What?... ahh... No... I err...  it's nothing."

Starsky looked at the pile of papers in front of him. He understood. "I'm sure you did everything possible to save their lives, Doctor."

Doctor Hutchinson looked up to the indigo eyes that were searching him. "Yeah. But it didn't hit me until now, and I wonder whether I did everything I could."

"You know, Doc. Someone once told me that when we come into this world we bring a number of days we are going to live with us, and when that time is done we leave no matter what. So you couldn't have helped those poor souls no matter what."

"Must be a very wise person who told you that, Detective Starsky."

"Yeah- very- very wise, intelligent, kind, funny, and smart; none other than your son, Doctor."
Doctor Hutchinson was stunned. He never expected someone would talk about his son or describe his son in those words.

"Well, Doctor. We have work to do. Check the files- especially, check the male patients who died young. Maybe close to Hutch's age."

The man had said 'I will decide whether your son will live or die.' Does that mean the doctor had once decided the fate of the son of this deranged kidnapper? something else the man said- 'don't give a damn whether you go to the police or not.' Those words were troubling Starsky over and over again, and it just dawned on him. He really doesn't care whether the money is dropped or not- he has no plans in picking up the money. Hutch is going to die no matter what. That's why he doesn't care whether the Police is informed or not. He is just torturing Hutch's father, and probably he is going to tape the killing of Hutch and send him that tape as well.

Starsky closed his eyes- he had to find Hutch before it was too late.

"Starsky," Simmons called out. "Huggy is on the phone."

"Huggy?" Grabbing the receiver, Starsky spoke. 

"Starsky. You may want to come back to Pits as soon as possible. Something is happening at 4.41 and it is not pretty."

Starsky was out of his chair, out of the precinct, and running to his Torino.

Starsky was back in Pits. Time was 3.30pm. There was a girl sitting with Huggy.

"Huggy?" Starsky asked hopefully.

"This is Maggie," Huggy introduced the long haired brunette to Starsky. "A good friend of mine. Like I said before, I told you that there is something happening at 4.15. You know they are going to demolish the old commerce building and all of us were talking about how it would go down... or up for that matter, and Maggie just said to me 'Well Huggy, just so that you know- you don't have to go there until 4.41' and I asked 'why'- so Maggie – tell him about 4.41."

Starsky's heart was pounding. He was on to something.

"Well detective. You know, my man, he is the one who's going to blow up the dump- he is very superticial, you know about times and stuff--"

"Superstitious," Huggy interrupted.

"Whatever, so anyway, he always counts the stars and do these numbers before he decides on the time for any blow up."

"Demolishing," Huggy said, again.

"Well... Whatever... are you gonna cut in every time I say something or what?" Maggie got angry.

"Huggy... please... let the lady continue. Now talk, Maggie- I assure you that Huggy will not say a word again." Starsky gave Huggy the 'Shut the fuck up' look and Huggy had his lips pressed together.

"So the best time for the bl… demolish was 4.41. So the real blasting will happen at 4.41. But he never tells anyone about the correct time. The time he advertises is always different. This time he said it was going to be 4.15. He always gives a time before the actual blast because he wants to make sure everyone is out of there."

Starsky's heart sank. Hutch is in the commerce building. No time to lose-

"Who else knew the correct time?"

"His brother-in-law. He was in town last week and Brandon, that is my man- must have mentioned it to him. I heard them talking about blasting stuff- and suddenly Lenny got very interested "

'"This brother-in-law- you know his name?"

"All  I heard was Lenny-"

"Your 'man's name?"

"Brandon Wise- he is the best!"

"I'm sure he is honey." Starsky cupped Maggie's face and gave her a big kiss on the forehead.

"You are an angel, Maggie," he said and was out of Pits in no time. Time 4.10pm.

"You are welcome, bro-" Huggy muttered looking at the disappearing figure.

Starsky started his car and called the Station. "Patch me to Captain Dobey. Urgent," he shouted.
And then he remembered why Phil's words were troubling him.

That son of a bitch!

"Starsky?" captain Dobey came through in a few minutes.

"Cap'n, listen very carefully. I have no time to lose. Get hold of Brandon Wise, the contractor in charge of city building demolishing and try to stop the blast on the old commerce building. Also ask him about Lenny- his brother-in-law. He is behind this, and check that name with Doc's files. You will get a hit."

"Where are you going? Where is Hutch? What about the drop?"

"Drop or not Captain, Hutch is going to die at 4.41- He is in the building."

"Oh, My God."

"I'm going there. I'd need back up, and Cap'n- another thing. Get hold of Phil Cameron, and make sure he does not leave the Station."

"Phil Cameron? Now why would you-"

"Just do as I say Cap'n- He is the one who went to Hutch's apartment that night."

"Are you sure of this?"

"Yes! – just get him."

"Okay, Starsky. Be careful."

"No time to be careful, Cap'n."

Starsky had the Mars light blasting on top of his roof and sped towards the old commerce building that was a good 10 minutes off from where he was right now.

The area was all vacated. There was an eerie silence and Starsky looked helplessly at the big building that had three stories. How on earth am I going to find Hutch in here? All I know is that he is tied in a room that has a small window.

He ran inside the building calling Hutch for all its worth. He shouted his name on top of his voice. "Hutch- HUTCH. Answer me, buddy. We don't have time to lose. Please, answer me, HUTCH."

Still nothing-

"Make some noise. Please- at least drag your feet if you can. HUTCH- HUTCH"
What if he is unconscious- what if he is gagged and his feet tied as well- Most probably that might be the condition Hutch is right now.

Starsky ran through the building, peeping at every open and closed room. "Hutch - Hutch. Please I need to know where you are. HUTCH... HUUUUUTCH." His voice echoed through the abandoned building.

And then Starsky heard a sound above him, like something falling.  "Hutch- is that you?"' he sped upstairs and ran through the rooms. He stopped in the area where he suspected he heard the noise. He examined each room that was around, and there he found Hutch, on the ground. The chair had fallen; Hutch must have tried to move after hearing his voice.

"Hutch. Oh, God, Hutch." Starsky ran towards his partner. We are not done yet. Starsky looked at his watch- 4.35. Only six minutes to go- He took out the knife from his pocket and cut Hutch lose- his blindfold- his gag and ropes that were binding his feet and arms.  Starsky knew Hutch would feel immense pain once the arms were released, but no time for little comforts anymore.

Hutch looked up at his partner. He was going in and out of consciousness; he was dehydrated.

Hutch smiled and raised his hand, wincing at the tensed muscles. He touched Starsky's cheek. "Davey," he whispered. "You found me."

The pocket knife fell of Starsky's hand. 'Davey?' - What the hell? How did Hutch know?

Making note of getting into why he was called Davey, Starsky quickly started to carry Hutch out of the room. He had to get Hutch down the stairs and out of the building as far as possible. He had to get his partner to safety; the blast would throw debris into a quite long distance.

"Come on, Hutch. No time to waste. Come on, now, stay with me. Walk." He had one arm of Hutch around his shoulder and the other around Hutch's waist- "Come on, partner. A little bit more."

Hutch groaned in pain. His legs were wobbly and numb; they were not behaving well at all, as if they had a mind of their own or not!

"Come on, babe. One step at a time. We have to get out of here as soon as possible."

It took a full four minutes to get Hutch out of there. Starsky dragged him the rest of the way once out of the building. The time was 4.41. He pushed Hutch onto the ground and threw himself on top of Hutch, covering him just in time when he heard the blast behind them. The sound and the vibration of the blast were too much for them to bear.

***********************

A continuous beeping was what Starsky heard at the beginning. His head hurt like hell. His right hand was bandaged though he felt no pain. He opened his eyes not remembering a thing about where he was and why he was here;  his vision was blurred and took time to adjust to the light. A tall figure hovering on him, and then he heard a familiar voice. 

"Starsk?"

Ahh, he smiled. "Hey, Hutch. You alright?"

He felt a squeeze on his left arm. "You gave us quite a scare there, buddy. How are you feeling?" Hutch still sounded worried.

"Hey, I'm fine. Just a headache- So whappened?" Starsky was still under the effects of drugs and he was actually feeling like he was floating.

"You don't remember?"

"Trying to-"

"You found me. You saved my life, Starsk?" Hutch choked back a sob.

"I did? Really? Ow about dat?"

"Ahh, Starsk." Hutch placed his head on Starsky's left arm and holding back the fear and
uncertainty that had surrounded him-.He was so afraid he had lost Starsky –

"Hey, hey. I'm here, ain't I?  Tell me what the hell happened. I ain't remembering a thing." Starsky tried to stroke Hutch's head, but he couldn't move his other hand.

"I was kidnapped, and you found me." Hutch tried to summarize everything in seven words.

"Ow about that, huh?- So we are okay, now?"

"I guess."

"What happened to my hand?"

"You were hit."

"By what?"

Hutch couldn't say anything anymore as the doctor and the nurses were back in the room to check on Starsky's condition.

Three days. Starsky had been unconscious for three days. The blast had affected him more than it did to Hutch because Starsky had managed to cover Hutch's body by his. He even had Hutch's ears covered with his palms. Flying debris had hit Starsky's right side and badly damaged his arm. The doctors had to operate on him to remove all the pieces of metal that was embedded on Starsky's right arm. He had lost a lot of blood before, during, and after surgery.

Hutch had got nothing other than the bruises and wounds that were inflicted upon him by his kidnapper. His head was bandaged. When Hutch got back to the room after the nurses left, Starsky was asleep. They had given him a sedative.  Hutch watched the saline go 'drip drip drip' into Starsky's arm. He sat on the hard uncomfortable chair where he had been, once allowed to get off his bed during the last two days. No one was able to send him away from Starsky's room.
He watched over his sleeping partner, marveling at the fact that he managed to find him just before the blast.

The blast.

In that isolated room that he was held, Hutch had no idea what was going to happen.

One minute he was at his apartment trying to figure out why Starsky's ex-partner paid him a visit
in the middle of the night. He was getting some beer from the fridge, and then the extensive pain on the head with everything going dark. He woke up and all what he was feeling was pain; pain in his head where he was hit and then his arms and his legs because they had been tied up and was numb. He had no idea for how long he had been unconscious.

Lenny, the guy who had him had only said that he was going to die and that his father would know what it is like to lose a son- Lenny had said that Hutch's father had killed his son, and now Hutch will die too. Tit for tat.

Hutch was beaten up,  and was not given anything to drink or eat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hang in there, Hutchinson. Davey is coming for you. He will find you. Just hang in there.
I thought you left, Mike.
That is what I thought too.
So you are here to stay?
No.
Am I hallucinating..? You should go, Mike.
Davey will come for you. Your father will come for you.
I don't have a father.
He loves you… in his own way.
You don't know him, Mike.
Tell Davey that I'm damn proud of him. He is the best son a father could ever have.
Why don't you tell him yourself..?        
I cannot reach him… only you can do it.
Find a way. You will have to tell it by yourself. I'm not your messenger boy.
I cannot reach him.
It is not him, Mike. It's you. You don't allow yourself to reach him.
Now why wouldn't I allow myself that?
Because you are not ready to leave him.
Get lost, Hutchinson.
Have heard that before from another Starsky, but I'm still here, aren't I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father, Hutch mused. It was strange when he saw his father at the bedside at the hospital when he first opened his eyes. His father had apologized to him. He apologized. Hutch would have thought that hell will freeze before he ever heard his father apologizing to him for anything- maybe the hell is frozen by now, he thought, and pigs must be flying too.
Hutch felt a ping of happiness to know that his father had arrived at BCPD all ready to pay the kidnapper with his money.  

After flying back to Minnesota, Richard Hutchinson had called Hutch every single day, day and night, to check on Hutch and to ask about Starsky's condition.  Hutch had called his father while he was out of Starsky's room and informed him that Starsky woke up. His father sounded pleased. I guess Starsky got to him in some way, or maybe he is just thankful that Starsky saved my life.

Next day somewhere in the afternoon, Doctor Richard Hutchinson walked into Starsky's room.
Hutch was stretched out on a chair beside Starsky who was smiling and saying something to him. Both men turned their heads towards the door sensing the presence of another.

"Father" Hutch got up as soon as he saw him.

Doctor Hutchinson nodded as he came in. He patted Hutch on his back. "How are you feeling son?" He asked lovingly. Hutch swallowed several times before he could find his voice. "I'm okay."

"Detective Starsky-" He came and stood beside Starsky's bed. He turned back to Hutch. "Ken- I need to talk to Detective Starsky,  alone."

Hutch raised his eye brows. "Sure- I will be outside," he said and left, a smile tugging at his lips. Well well well.,. father likes Starsky for sure.  He flew in just so that he could talk to him.

"I owe you everything I own Detective Starsky," Doctor Hutchinson said.

Starsky managed a lop sided grin. "Please- call me David. Hutch is my partner, and partners watch out for each other, doctor. There is nothing heroic in what I did. I love Hutch more than my life, and I would do anything for him. You don't owe me anything-"

"Please, call me Richard. I know nothing about partnerships and what not of the Police Department, but what you did goes beyond a general partnership. I'm glad Ken has you in his life- I... err... I never was close to him and I thought I was doing the right thing- I know I will never be able to make up for the mistakes I made- but- I think you give something to him no one can ever give him. He trusts you and he loves you. I may not understand that kind of love, but I can see it in his eyes and I see it in you, too. You didn't give up finding him, and if it wasn't for you it would have been impossible. I would not have a son today if it wasn't for you Detect – err... David. If you ever need anything ... just anything… please let me know- I'm not that good with words, and saying Thank you is never enough for what you did." Starsky looked at the tall proud man sitting beside him. He knew exactly what he wanted from him.

"Doc- I mean Richard- there is something you can do for me," said Starsky.

"Oh, yes? What is it David?"

"Talk to Hutch. Tell him that you love him. It'll be good for both of you. Showing someone you love that you care about him is not a weakness. It is the greatest strength one can have."
Doctor Richardson looked at Starsky with respect  and gratitude.

"You are a good man David. You always put him before you, don't you? Ken is lucky to have you. And by that I should say that I'm lucky to have you in his life too." Doctor Richardson smiled at Starsky and after another few minutes he left.

Hutch came back to the room a good thirty minutes later. He looked flushed- and happy.

"Hey, Blondie. How are you?"

"Ahh, well. Very good, Starsk. Mmmm , really good." Hutch stretched himself before he sat on the chair again.

"Did your father leave?"

"Yes. He will be in town today- So err... he wants to go out for dinner with me tonight. Now How about that Starsk?" Hutch was all smiles.  

"But have they released you from the hospital?"

"Oh, they released me yesterday."

"Then why the hell am I still here?" Starsky complained.

"Because you have more bandages than I do. Now let me count. There are about 5, no 6 bandages from here to here." Hutch traced Starsky's arm.

"Now wait a minute- that is just one big bandage."

"Yeah, but it is six times like what I have around my head. So that means you have to stay six times more days like I did."

"Don't be insane, Hutch."

"Well—I'm not, buddy, but I know that you are not fit enough to go home, yet. Don't worry. I'm going to be with you here all the time. I won't go home until you do. Okay?"

"Ah, No. Don't do that, Hutch. I don't want you to sleep on that chair anymore. You have to go home and get some decent sleep."

"I can't go home ,Starsk" he muttered, not looking Starsky in the eye.

"Why not?"

Hutch didn't reply but bit his lower lip.

"'Kay- we'll go together-" said Starsky. Of course! You were taken when you were at your apartment, by yourself. You don’t want to be alone. I understand, Hutch.-  

"Starsk?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you figure out that it was Phil who came to my apartment that night?"

Starsky hated the name even more now.

"Something he said was bothering me, and I first thought it was just all of him that was bothering me, but something kept on nagging me. There was something in the back of my mind telling me that something Phil said was out of context- and then it hit me. He said that your plants are the only witnesses for who took you away that night- 'Plants,' Hutch- 'Plants' are what stands out when one enters your apartment, and how would he know that you have plants unless he had been there. He wasn't there with the crime lab and he has never been to your apartment. So I just knew that it was him. It had to be someone you knew, and well, although you are not friends with him, still there would be no reason for you to not open your door for him."

Starsky learnt slowly what had happened and why Lenny had kidnapped Hutch.  

Lenny- Leonard Wayne. His fifteen year old son, was in a car accident three years ago, and he had to undergo surgery to repair his badly damaged heart. Then suddenly everything went downhill, and he had to be put on life support. Lenny's son had become just a body that was kept alive by machines. The cost for life support was 157,321 dollars for one year. A gross calculation given to the patients' family to help them make decisions. Lenny couldn't afford it and even on life support Lenny's son was given only a year to live. When asked for his opinion Dr. Hutchinson had advised to pull the plug to stop the poor kid from suffering anymore. But Lenny held Doctor Hutchinson responsible for the death of his son. One year on life support would have kept him alive; that was all what Lenny was thinking, and the doctor made the decision to rob his son of that year. Lenny wanted the doctor to pay for his son's life. He didn't want money. He wanted a life for life. So he checked on the doctor's family and learnt that he had a son.

When Lenny heard his brother-in-law was going to blow up a building, he knew he had scored. He only had to find a way to get Hutchinson out of the apartment. That's how Phil Cameron came into the picture. Phil and Lenny had gone to High School together and were still friends. When Lenny talked about what he had in mind Phil had forgotten all about what his profession was. All he could think of a way of getting rid of Hutchinson so that Starsky will be without a partner and maybe, just maybe, he could win Starsky's heart. The plan was so good; the only witness will be Hutch, the victim himself. When Hutch gets blown to pieces with the building there won't be anyone that could tie him to the crime. Just perfect- All he had to do was get Hutchinson out of his apartment, and Lenny was going to take care of the rest.

Once Starsky had called it in they had got hold of Brandon Wise, but by then the building was already blown up. Starsky had found Hutch in a nick of a time. Brandon had given all information about Lenny: he had no idea what Lenny was up to. He had thought that Lenny was genuinely interested in how all the demolishing strategies worked. Once they got Lenny's address it was just a matter of picking him up, and his statement implicated Phil Cameron's help in the matter.

"So all bad guys are in custody now?"

"Yes, and Cameron cannot get out this time, Starsk. He is in for good."

"Why did he come to your apartment? I mean what did he say?"

"He said he just needed to talk about something that was bothering him. I didn't think he would pull a stunt like what he did with you. I went to get some beer, and that's all what I can remember. What did he hit me with Starsk?"

"The vase that was on your dining table."

"I will be damned. The one my sister gave me?"

So that means Hutch had still not gone to his apartment. How on earth was he going out to dinner with his father without going to the apartment to get dressed up? Is he planning buy a new outfit to avoid going to the apartment?

When Hutch was out with his father Huggy visited Starsky.

"So what is on your mind Starsky?"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Don't I? Always?"

"Well...this is something for me and for Hutch."

"Right! Now I also have to cater to the blond turkey of yours, huh? Okay, what is it?"

****

Starsky was released from the hospital in another three days, with the fact that Hutch was going to keep an eye on him for another two or three days. Starsky suggested that they should first stop by Hutch's apartment to get some of his belongings and then go to Starsky's apartment so that they could spend the next couple of days there, together.

And Huggy had done well.

Hutch's expression changed from fear to disbelief when he opened the apartment door.
Everything looked... just … normal. No yellow tape, no mess, no nothing. Everything was just the same way he could remember. He just stood there his mouth open. How on earth did the clock turn back? He looked at Starsky and Starsky's face looked… indifferent.

"What's wrong Hutch?"

"Ohh, Don't give me that innocent expression, Starsk, I'm sure you had something to do with the fact that the apartment looks just the same."  Then he gasped. "The vase. How on earth did it get back? Didn't you say that I was hit by it?"

"Well.. I guess, the pieces just flew in together Hutch."

"How did you manage to get another?"

"Not me. Huggy.  He did good, didn't he?"

You did good Starsk- You asked him to do this.

Hutch's heart swelled up with love and warmth that was spreading all through his body. My friends. my friends who truly care about me. Friends who would risk their lives to get to me. How did I get this lucky?

"Do you want to stay here, Hutch? I can stay here with you. We don't have to go to my apartment, you know."

"Nah. I like yours better. It is bigger and your couch is better than mine. You should have the bed, anyway, even if you sleep here. "

"My bed is bigger, too, you know."

Hutch raised his eye brows.. "Now what? You are asking me to sleep with you?"

"Sure... why not? You scared I would take advantage of ya?" Starsky giggled.

"Now shouldn't it be you who would worry about something like that, partner?"

"Why would I? Should I?"

"No worries there, Starsky."

"Well then – that's settled- You have slept in that chair in the hospital all these days. Your body needs a good sleep"

Hutch agreed. He needed to sleep in a real bed for sure.  It sounded weird but he didn't have a problem sharing a bed with Starsky. Funny, he thought. He would not have wanted to share a bed with any of his previous partners, no matter how close he was to them. Starsky was... well… a part of him.

When the duo got to Starsky's apartment, Huggy bear was already there, preparing supper for them. Hutch was flabbergasted. Then he remembered that Huggy must have done this for Starsky many times in the past.

"Hey, Hug. Smells good." Starsky sniffed the air.

"Well, Starsky. The iron chef is at his best here."

"Ah, I'm hungry. Can we eat now?" Starsky asked rubbing his hands together.

"No, you can't." interrupted Hutch "Go and wash yourself first. You just got from the hospital."

"No, we didn't. We got back from your apartment," Starsky protested.

"Well... we got to my apartment from the hospital, and I don't remember you washing up at my apartment, now, did you, Starsk?"

"But I don't want to wet my bandages."

"Don't worry. I will help you. Come on"

"No. You are not going to help me in the bathroom. I can wash by myself."

"Stop being a spoiled child. I'm going to help you, and that's it. Do you want a trip to the hospital, huh? And that is exactly what will happen if you wet those bandages. So you will do just as I say."

Starsky pouted, and obeyed Hutch. He sulked like a 5 year old and Huggy bear couldn't resist but smile. Starsky complained about everything he could once inside the bathroom. The water was too cold or too hot.  He wanted to shower instead of just washing. He wanted the opposite of everything that Hutch did for him, but Hutch ignored him, just like he would have, to protests of a 5 year old, which made Starsky even madder.

"That is the first and the LAST time you are ever going to wash me," Starsky stormed out of the bathroom after the 'washing' session.

Hutch had his hands on his hip, shaking his head, not believing what he was seeing and hearing."Is he always like this?" Hutch asked Huggy.

"Come to think of it, Hutch. I have never tried to wash him. So I have no idea! This must be a first for him."

"And for me, too. Never tried to wash a grown man before or I should say a grown man with a mind of a 5 year old."

"But you wouldn't trade him for anyone else, eh?" He whispered in Hutch's ear.

"Never." Hutch smiled.

"Well, then. You two just enjoy the supper and sleep tight. I have a business to take care of."

"You not staying?"

"Nope. Have work to do, unlike some others who can stay at home and enjoy a five star meal."

Once Huggy keft the apartment, Hutch went in search of Starsky. He was in the bedroom struggling to button his shirt.

"Hey, allow me." Hutch offered to help.

"No." Starsky stopped Hutch. "I want to do it by myself." Starsky stubbornly turned away.

Hutch watched him without saying another word. What Starsky wanted to do was not
impossible, but it would have been just easier and simple just if he allowed Hutch to do it.

After sometime Hutch walked up to Starsky and stood behind him. He looked over Starsky's shoulder. He gently got hold of Starsky's left hand and released the button he was fighting with, and then he very slowly started to button the shirt, still standing behind him. Starsky didn't object this time.

"There, done!" said Hutch, still standing behind Starsky.

"Thanks!" mumbled Starsky.

"You are welcome." Hutch said amused. "You okay?" He asked.

"Uh huh!"

"Is it that bad?" Hutch asked.

"What?"

"Leaning on someone who cares about you?"

"It's not that." Starsky closed his eyes and did lean against Hutch with his back to Hutch's chest.

"Then what?"Hutch put his arms around Starsky and held him.

"I hate to lose control."

"Well, you have not lost it. I'm just keeping it for you, okay?"

"'Kay."

"Alright, then. I'm starving. Let us eat."

"Kay," Starsky was smiling, again.

The Cute Funny Adorable Little Davey.

Damn you, Mike. You forgot to mention the stubborn, difficult, exasperating, adamant, 5 year old I will have to deal with.

********

Huggy had prepared an excellent meal. The two partners enjoyed every bit of it. Later they settled on the couch with some coffee, flipping TV channels. trying to find something to watch.

"Hutch?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever talked to my Ma?"

"No." Hutch frowned. " Why?"

"You sure?" Starsky was now frowning.

"Of course I'm sure. How on earth would I talk to her? I have never met her, buddy."

"Have you met my Uncle Al?"

"Uncle who???"

"Aunt Rosa?"

"Huh? NO. I haven't met any of those. Why?"

"Nicky?"

"Who's Nicky?"

Starsky shrugged. He was still frowning. "Why did you call me 'Davey?'"Starsky turned and looked Hutch in the eye.

"I…" Hutch begun, but found that he suddenly didn't know what to say. Dammit! When did that slip from me? When did I call him Davey? In my sleep?

Never lie to him…

"When did I call you Davey?" Hutch asked.

"When is not the question. I'm asking why."

"Someone told me."

"Who?"

"You won't believe me, Starsk."

"Try me."

Hutch rubbed his hands against his face like he washing his face. God, Mike, what am I supposed to do? What will Starsky think? I feel like I have done something wrong by not talking to him about you. What am I supposed to do?

"Hutch? Who told you?" Starsky looked afraid, like he was going to hear something bad.

Hutch cursed himself. How did I get that careless. Why did I let that name slip from me?

"Starsk... can you keep an open mind? I-- I have something to tell you."

Starsky sighed and stood up. He had a funny feeling about what Hutch was going to tell him. He was sure he wasn't going to like it. He hated secrets; Hated secrets that are kept from him. He walked away from Hutch.

Hutch couldn't bear the distance. He had to come clean and tell him about everything. He is back to his old self. Just one little mishap and Starsky just go backwards instantly.

Hutch got up and walked towards the table that had the photo frame of Starsky and his father. He picked it up and looked at Starsky. "He told me." Hutch pointed at Starsk's father.

Starsky's confusion tuned into disbelief. His eyes were of the same shade as Hutch saw them on the day Starsky punched him on the face. He was glad he was standing a couple of feet away from Starsky.

"Don't play games with me, Hutch. My father died when I was--"

"Thirteen years old, I know--" Hutch cut Starsky short and completed the sentence.

"I never told you that." Starsky gasped.

"Mike told me.  He got shot, correct?"

"You have done your research. Huggy could have told ya." Starsky desperately tried to find an excuse.

"No he didn't."

"A dead man cannot talk, Hutch. Stop playing games with me."

"I'm not playing games with you. It is the truth."

"Are you telling me that you can talk to ghosts, Hutch?"

"No, but Mike talked to me. Some days."

"Shut up. Just shut up. Stop messing with my head. This has gone too far, Hutch" Starsky paced the floor like a wounded cougar.

"I'm not lying. That is the damn truth, Starsky. Mike talked to me, even before I knew you. Even before I came to Bay City. He is the one who told me come to Bay City."

"Shut up, Shut up," Starsky yelled, not believing what he was hearing. He couldn't decide what to believe anymore. He made a fist with his good hand and banged it on the table. Then moved away and ran his fingers through his hair, looking up and closing his eyes.

Pa... did you really talk to Hutch? He started to tremble. No, No. You are dead. You are gone forever. I begged you to come back.  I wanted you so much in my life, but you never came back. You never talked to me, but you talked to Hutch? Why?

It hurt so much to think of the happy times he had with his father. His Pa. Starsky started to bang his fist against the wall.

"Starsky, stop," Hutch shouted, running towards Starsky and pulling him away from the wall, ignoring the threats and the struggling.

"Let go of me, Hutch. Don't you dare touch me. Just let go of me." Starsky thrashed his legs around trying to break free from Hutch.

Hutch he didn't let go of Starsky. "Stop it for God's sake. Calm down, Starsky."  He held Starsky tightly against him. "Please, babe. Calm down."

"Go away, Hutch."

"Never." Hutch stood his ground. "You can shout, yell, or beat me up, but I will never let you go. Not now, not ever. So stop acting like a kid."

Hutch held the trembling body against him, trying his best to calm down his volatile partner. He knew by now that his soft voice got to Starsky and that voice soothed him more than anything else.

You will come to love him like a friend, brother, a partner.

"Calm down, Starsk. It's Me and Thee. Remember. I will never lie to you. I have never lied to you. I will always be here for you. You know that, don't you Starsk? You know that I will never leave you no matter how much you try to push me away."

You are my life. You are every breath I take. You are me.

Hutch allowed his fingers to comb through Starsky's curls, his chin resting on Starsky's head. He pulled both of them onto the couch and after giving more time for Starsky to calm down, Hutch started to tell him about a dream that started long before he came to Bay City. "I didn't think much of it at the beginning. He was just a dream. The very first day I saw him he said, "Hi, Kiddo. I'm Mike.'"

Starsky winced. "That's what he called me, too."  

"I had just gone through my divorce, I guess, when I started to notice the dreams. He was just a dream… I never thought much of it… thought that he was someone I must have seen somewhere."

Then Hutch had started to feel restless. Living in Minnesota was pointless when he didn't have anyone that cared about him and vice versa. The idea of getting a transfer out of MPD was playing in the mind when Mike said 'Why not Bay City.'

"I didn't actually care where I was going, and when I checked, there were no vacancies at the moment in any other Police Departments for a position that suited me, except Bay City. It was too much of a coincidence; Mike telling me to go to BCPD and then finding that this was the only place I could go to, anyway, and then he started talking about his little Davey."

Starsky smiled faintly. "Ma and Pa and some of my relatives called me Davey. I hated that name but got used to the way they said it. I felt nothing but love when they called me Davey.  But I made sure that none of my friends would ever call him that."

"Starsk, do you want to hear more?"

"Uh huh."

"So... Mike told me that you were waiting for me even though you 'didn't know it, yet' - that you and I will be good together. He asked me to start living my life at BayCity and I decided to come here. There was nowhere else to go anyway."

"Did he talk to you after you came here?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"So you are here because of him?"

"Yes. No, NO. I came here because this was the only place I could go, and then I got partnered with you. When I heard the name David Starsky, I just couldn't believe it. David meant Davey, and until that point I had not truly believed that Mike was anything but a figment of my imagination. Just try putting yourself in my shoes, Starsk. If this happened to you, would you believe that it was for real?"

"Guess not."

"I didn't stay because of him. I-- well… when I saw you I felt something different with you, and it just felt right, though you were one bad ass who had made up his mind to get rid of me whenever possible."

Starsky chuckled, and then his expression softened. "I was a pain in the butt. Wasn't I?"

"Was? WAS? In my book, Starsky, you ARE still a pain in the butt, but its okay." I love you so much that it is enough for both of us. Hutch didn't voice his thoughts. 

"I can hear Ya. You know that?" Starsky chuckled again.

Hutch blushed.

"So.. do you see him quite often?" Starsky asked. 

"No. Once in a while- in my dreams. He asked me to follow my heart when it came to you. Nothing else. He never told me what to do, Starsk. It wasn't like that… and when I saw the picture of you and Mike on the table the first day at your apartment I still couldn't believe that I was talking to your father and that he was telling me about you- Davey."

"He- is he still around?" Starsky's voice was hopeful- wistful.  

"I don't know. I just see him sometimes, in my dreams. I don't know whether it is a dream when I talk to him or whether I'm awake."

"I have tried to talk to him many times. I hated him for leaving us like that; for getting shot like that; for letting the bad guys get to him."

Hutch could see the little boy. Sad, unhappy, angry and not trusting a soul in the world anymore. He was too young to experience a death like that.  Mike... You have to talk to him. I cannot be your messenger. Please talk to him.

What had Mike said? That he tried to talk to Starsky but Starsky's heart was not open anymore.

"You still angry with him, Starsk?"

"No. I wasn't angry with him. I was angry because he left me, left us. Nicky, that's my brother. He was too young to feel the loss, but for me, Pa was my whole world."

And your world fell apart… you had nothing to hope for, nothing to live for.

"And then Ma sent me to live with Uncle Al because she couldn't control me."

A smile hovered around Hutch's eyes. He could only imagine what a handful Starsky must have been like a teenager. A restless body and soul, bursting of 'teen' hormones. He was glad he wasn't Starsky's mother.   

"I still miss him, Hutch. I miss him so much."

"I'm sorry, Starsk- I wish--" I wish he could talk to you. It would bring some sort of closure to your wounded soul.

"It's alright. I'm glad he talked to you. I'm glad he talked you into coming to BCPD. Strange enough it gives me some satisfaction, like... like I know that he is at peace, and that he has been watching over me over the years. I guess I knew that deep within me."

The two were silent for sometime... taking in whatever they talked during this time until Starsky yawned, obviously feeling sleepy and tired.

"Want to sleep?" Hutch asked.

"Yeah. Come on. You sleep on my left side. I don't want you bumping into my bandaged arm."

"Need anything for the pain?"

"I'm good. So damn tired."

They settled in to sleep on Starsky's big King size bed as if it was a very normal thing, and as if they had been doing that all their life.

Two months ago. Having a guy seated close to him would have made Starsky run a mile, and today he was sleeping together with a guy, his partner, and he wasn't even feeling nervous or uncomfortable.

Hutch was laying still, with his right hand under his head, watching Starsky who was trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.

"Hey, come here." Hutch had an idea.

"Huh?"

"Lie on my arm, here." Hutch extended his arm and pulled Starsky's head onto the nook of his shoulder and neck. "Now keep that arm of yours on some pillows."

Starsky did as he was told. It felt good. "What if someone saw us?" he asked.

"Who?"

 "Okay, what if someone knew we slept together. I mean, like this?"

"Are you planning to tell anyone?"

"NO. You crazy?"

"Then who would know, and how?"

"Ah."

"Don't worry, buddy. Your reputation is safe with me."

Starsky chuckled. He settled in more closer to Hutch.

Hutch bent his arm and brought it up to Starsky's head, allowing it to rest on his forehead so he can play with the dark thick curls that always seem to wrap around his fingers whenever he touch them.

Within another few minutes the two partners were fast asleep, feeling safe and knowing that they were finally where they belong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Davey…
Pa… is that you?
You have grown up, Davey.
Of course, Pa. It has been a long time, you know.
I'm proud of you son. I'm so damn proud of you.
I miss you. I wish you were here.
Me too, Kiddo, me too. But you have done well.
Pa…  I'm sorry for being mad at you.
I'm sorry I had to leave, Davey. I never wanted to leave you.
I know, Pa. I love you. Have always loved you. Never stopped loving you.
Love you too, Davey. Love you so much.
Will you come back?
I think now it's my time to leave.
Come on, Mike.  I've heard that line before, but you are still here.
Ah, Hutchinson. Remember,  I had to come back 'cos you didn't want to be the messenger boy.
Good Bye, Mike.    
Good Bye, Hutchinson.
Bye, Pa.
Bye, Davey.
The two of you - Take care of yourselves.

***************  THE END ****************************